You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion. You should write at least 250 words.

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In the contemporary world, whether or not building specialised
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
to train high-skilled
atheletes
Correct your spelling
athletes
,
instead
of giving more common
sports
facilities
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
everybody can work.
This
essay will prove that the benefits of
this
development will outweigh the drawbacks
due to
the motherland's achievements and the increase of
gym-registration
Correct article usage
the gym-registration
show examples
rate.
It is clear that
the country's achievements are totally important
that
Change preposition
to
show examples
any single
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
show examples
,
due
Correct word choice
and due
show examples
to that reason, specialised tools should be provided more
frequency
Replace the word
frequently
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to the
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
. By doing that, the competitors will be more skilled and experienced to bring the trophy back. For
instances
Fix the agreement mistake
instance
show examples
, China has been
provided so
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
many kinds of specially designed materials for their contestant to compete
Olympic
Fix the agreement mistake
Olympics
show examples
in order to bring the victory home. Eventually, building specialised facilities
affect
Verb problem
apply
show examples
positively
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the the improvement of
player's
Fix the agreement mistake
players'
show examples
skills and
also
their experiences. Another key point is that there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
more and more
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people that go to the gym, which means that the local
sports
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
are not being used in the best way, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of resources will be wasted,
therefore
the figure for money that has been used to provide the common
sports
facilities will
also
be wasted.
For example
, there are many kinds of tools that
arent
Correct your spelling
aren't
show examples
being used by the locals in
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Vietnam since 2019,
due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
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, everyone
wasnt
Correct your spelling
wasn't
allowed to go outside or do
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
outdoor activities either. In conclusion, providing
sports
tools that everyone can use is not a necessary way because they can go to the gym
instead
. In total, the way that some countries are doing
is
Correct pronoun usage
this is
show examples
a positive development for not only
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international achievements but
also
the growth in the gym-signing rate.
Submitted by ieltsmeister.academic on

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task achievement
Make sure to use more relevant and specific examples to back up your points. This will add both depth and credibility to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Revisit grammar and vocabulary. While minor inaccuracies won't drastically affect your score, they do impact overall readability.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains an introduction and a conclusion, which provides clear structure.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are generally clear and logical, contributing to a coherent argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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