IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people consider art to be essential and others think it is not. Which view do you agree with and why? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #art
Many people believe that art is one of the most crucial aspects of human life,
while
 others think that it has stopped having
such
 an impact on the human race. In my opinion, art still has a place in our daily lives and we should pass it on to the next generations. It is commonly believed that artwork can evoke many diverse feelings. Paintings, plays or even movies are mostly created to make the recipient feel significant emotions.
For instance
, the movie “Past
lives
Capitalize word
Lives
show examples
” directed by Celine Song has made me think a lot about my past friendships,
as well as
 my hopes and dreams for the future.
Furthermore
, plenty of paintings are considered to be one of the most truthful sources of history. Many painters witnessed some of the most crucial events of history and decided to
portrait
Replace the word
portray
show examples
 them in their paintings.
For example
, Jan Matejko was a famous
polish
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Polish
show examples
 painter who portrayed a plethora of important incidents and figures of
polish
Capitalize word
Polish
show examples
 history, like the battle of Grunwald or a well-known
astronom
Correct your spelling
astronomy
astronomer
 Mikołaj Kopernik.
Moreover
, some significant books that are even hundreds of years old are still
learned
Verb problem
taught
show examples
 in schools and can be fascinating to youngsters. Many lectures have very complex protagonists who are facing many challenges
,
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apply
show examples
 but are still likable and easy to identify for students.
Main
Change the article
The main
show examples
 character of
Shakespare’s
Correct your spelling
Shakespeare’s
 “Hamlet”
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 full of different emotions, but
still
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still,
show examples
 he
was defending
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defends
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 his moral values and lots of
teenager
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teenagers
show examples
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 understand him.
To sum
up
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up,
show examples
 everything that has been said, art was, is and will be timeless for human beings. We must learn from it to not make the same mistakes,
as well as
 enjoy it because it is a great form of entertainment and it develops our interests.
Submitted by bandrowskaagnieszka1 on

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task achievement
The essay successfully addresses the task prompt, clearly stating a position on the role of art in human life and supporting it with relevant reasons and examples. However, some arguments could be more thoroughly developed to strengthen the response, particularly in discussing the opposing view.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is strong, with a clear introduction and a conclusion. The main points are mostly well supported by examples, though there are some areas where additional explanation would improve clarity and depth. For instance, expanding on how specific elements of art evoke emotions or impact history could enhance the argument.
coherence cohesion
To further improve coherence, consider using more transitional phrases to link sentences and paragraphs smoothly. This will help guide the reader through the essay and ensure that all points are cohesively connected.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, clearly stating the opinion and summarizing the key points. This gives the essay a strong framework and sets a clear direction for the reader.
task achievement
Examples provided, such as the movie “Past Lives” and works by Jan Matejko, are relevant and effectively illustrate the points being made. These concrete instances help to make the arguments more persuasive and relatable.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural expression
  • preserving cultural identity
  • foster creativity
  • critical thinking
  • emotional expression
  • economic activity
  • boost tourism
  • therapeutic effects
  • reduce stress
  • social commentary
  • promote social change
  • individual expression
  • personal fulfillment
  • sense of achievement
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