The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040
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The line graph compares the percentage of urban population of four nations for a period of 50 years starting from 2020, and the projection for 2030 and 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can observe that Malaysia has the highest proportion of urban population among other countries. From
beginning
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the beginning
show examples
of 1970, the number of people living in cities of Indonesia and Thailand has been increasing drastically.
In contrast
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, there has been fluctuation in cities population of
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, it is predicted that across all the nations there is going to be
upward
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an upward
show examples
trend. In 1970, Malaysia’s one-third
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
were from cities, but by 2020
this
Linking Words
figure was close to 70%,
Linking Words
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
show examples
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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predicted that by 2040
this
Linking Words
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
reach around 80%.
Whereas
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, in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
of Thailand
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
witnessed a steady growth in
this
Linking Words
number until 1990, after which there was stagnation till 2020, despite
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
there is a prediction that by the end of 2040 at least half of
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
citizens
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
reside in a city. Interestingly, from 1970 to 2010, in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
of
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
which experienced fluctuations in the number of people living in
urbanized
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an urbanized
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
, in future
however
Linking Words
there is
expectation
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an expectation
the expectation
show examples
that approximately half of the
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
be staying in
urbans
Correct your spelling
urban
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in Indonesia, after 1970, where less than one-tenth of
public
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the public
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
from
urbans
Correct your spelling
urban
has shot up to 50%, and is presumed that it
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
be closer to 60% by 2040.
Submitted by yashaswikhot on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
What to do next:
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