In many towns and cities, large shopping malls are replacing small local shops. Do you think this is a positive development? Give your reasons and examples.

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Local shops are being substituted with enormous shopping
malls
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in many towns and cities in today's society.
Although
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it provides many utilities to the residents,I believe
construction
Add an article
the construction
show examples
of these
malls
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further
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is not a positive progress as it possesses more dominant cons. Nowadays, most of the
malls
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are being located in the city
center
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centre
show examples
in order to attract more public attention.
However
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,if people will keep
destructing
Verb problem
destroying
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these native stores,mankind would eventually attain to the
malls
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on a smaller scale.As we consider humans are not that wealthy to afford a car,it might be really challenging for them to go back and forth when these domestic stores are demolished.
Moreover
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,as soon as the access issue to the
malls
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is
overcomed
Correct your spelling
overcome
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,reaching
to
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apply
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your desired destination in the mall is quite complicated.In Cyprus,natives were complaining about the size of the mall,suggesting some people among us may not have the condition to move
up stairs
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upstairs
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and the toughness of finding places.Based on
this
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suggestion,
manager
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the manager
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achieved
Verb problem
managed
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to build an elevator
in addition
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to a digital map. In terms of
economy
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the economy
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,there
is
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are
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fewer job opportunities.Small business managers and
tradesman
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tradesmen
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would not get the worth they deserve
due to
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less income received just
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
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more
incline
Wrong verb form
inclined
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to
malls
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are prevalent.In spite of having less pricey goods in local stores,there is a common
misconseption
Correct your spelling
misconception
that
impies'Quality
Correct your spelling
implies quality
comes first in shopping
centers
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centres
show examples
.'.
This
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quote makes the native traders sustain their lives with a lower quality. In conclusion,I tend to think that replacing huge
malls
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instead
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of small local shops is a negative development as transportation is hard and poor conditions
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
domestic
tradesman
Fix the agreement mistake
tradesmen
show examples
despite expensive goods in the
malls
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kabzop on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task prompt well by taking a clear stance and providing reasons and examples. However, you could improve task response by ensuring that all points are thoroughly supported with detailed explanations and clear examples.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on having smoother transitions between ideas. The use of connecting words and phrases will help link sentences and paragraphs more logically and naturally.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction briefly outlines the main points to be discussed, and your conclusion should summarize these points succinctly while reinforcing your stance. This helps in clearly guiding the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread your work for grammatical correctness and fluency to enhance comprehension. Avoid overly long sentences and be careful with the correct use of articles, prepositions, and conjunctions.
task achievement
You have successfully managed to present a clear opinion regarding the topic and have sustained this viewpoint throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay includes specific examples to support the main points, which adds credibility to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively wraps up the essay by summarizing the main points and restating your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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