IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #vehicles #passengers
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No one can ignore the impact of technology with
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 voluminous applications.
However
, I personally support that
a
Remove the article
apply
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driverless-based transportation would be impractical, in order for safety concerns. In the
future's
Change noun form
future
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 world,
however
, where individuals focus on developing means of public transportation, they acquire to keep the position of the driver.
For instance
, in spite of technologically-updated facilities,
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
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 may have a precious opportunity to avoid deviating the right tracks. In order to possess
expertise
Replace the word
expert
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 workers, they are compelled to manipulate their skills to get
ride
Correct your spelling
rid
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 of the idea of driver's omitting. There are various reasons why innovation-driven vehicles cannot be underestimated. If
no
Correct article usage
the no
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 place for bus-inside workers concept is applied, a massive number of people will lose their source of earnings,
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
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 the rate of unemployment will hit its peak dramatically.
For example
, in Egypt, more than 45
percent
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per cent
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 of the employees gain their packages from driving,
thus
, you cannot imagine how many persons would be workerless,
in addition
 to raising the chance of crime and stealing.
On the other hand
, trucks without leaders are an awful way to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
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 the chance of road accidents.
Due to
 any surrounding circumstances
such
 as heavy rains,
as well as
 a sudden ice
caps
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cap
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 collapse, there will be paramount losses. To come
with
Change preposition
to
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 a basic conclusion, with all
respects
Fix the agreement mistake
respect
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 to the
principal
Correct your spelling
principle
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 of driverless means of transportation, from my
perspectives
Fix the agreement mistake
perspective
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, their drawbacks outweigh the merits.
Submitted by Mido  on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, addressing both potential drawbacks and advantages of driverless vehicles. However, some ideas are not fully developed or clearly articulated. For example, you mention safety concerns but do not explain them in detail.
coherence cohesion
Some of your points are not clearly linked to one another, which affects the overall coherence of the essay. Try to ensure each paragraph logically flows to the next. Use linking words and phrases effectively to improve cohesion.
coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, consider more clearly defined paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea related to the topic.
task achievement
You provide relevant specific examples such as the impact on employment in Egypt, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have an introduction and conclusion that frame your essay well.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear position, and you maintain it throughout the writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • driverless vehicles
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • increased safety
  • reduced traffic congestion
  • improved efficiency
  • accessibility
  • disabled
  • elderly
  • job displacement
  • privacy concerns
What to do next:
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