Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child development. However, others argue that other things like Television or friends have the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is essential to understand what might
influnce
a child's development.
Correct your spelling
influence
This
essay will evaluate the roles of parents
, television, and friends, and come up with a conclusion regarding the factor that impacts children the most.
To begin
with, family tends to affect the youth severely. By this
, there is a very common opinion that parents
play the most crucial role in their kids
' development. I would agree with this
statement as I believe that people learn from their mothers and fathers, whether by copying their behaviour and considering them to be their role models or by and
seeing them as significant adults, who protect and help to survive. To Correct word choice
apply
further
elaborate on this
point, parents
usually are the closest people to their kids
, and they unconditionally love, take care, and
cater for them.
Change preposition
of, and
On the other hand
, it goes without saying that teenagers start needing more freedom at some point of
their maturing. Change preposition
in
This
is when they value their independance
and ability to make decisions on how to spend time and to whom to relyCorrect your spelling
independence
on
. Change preposition
apply
As a result
, youth gets
attracted by watching TV and being with their friends more than staying at home with their families. Both Correct subject-verb agreement
get
the
television and soul mates do, Correct article usage
apply
undoubtadly
, shape Correct your spelling
undoubtedly
kids
' personalities and characters, but their impact does not overrate the influnce
that Correct your spelling
influence
parents
have.
To conclude
, there are a lot of factors that influnce
the development of children, including watching TV and building relationships with friends. Correct your spelling
influence
However
, parents
play the most vital role by leading by example, taking care, and
being the closest people to their Change preposition
of, and
kids
.Submitted by dulskywork on
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments. For instance, you could mention specific studies or anecdotes that illustrate the impact of parents versus television or friends.
coherence cohesion
While you do have an introduction and conclusion, the introduction can be strengthened by specifying your viewpoint more precisely. Similarly, ensure each body paragraph directly supports your argument, maintaining coherence throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured logically with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This helps guide the reader through your argument effectively.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced discussion by addressing both sides of the argument, which ensures a comprehensive response to the essay prompt.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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