Some people think that the government should establish free libraries in each town. Others believe that it is a waste of money since people can access the Internet at home to obtain information. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

Nowadays, half of the
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
believe that
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
government
should develop free libraries in each
town
.
However
, half of it
think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
show examples
that it is a waste of money
due to
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
that can be accessed at home. I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that it has
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
and negative
impact
. On the positive side, It will give people
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
access
lots
Change preposition
to lots
show examples
of information especially when it
coming
Wrong verb form
comes
show examples
to history
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
. Many of the older
book
Change to a plural noun
books
show examples
is coming
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
from paperback
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
, which means it does not have the digital version. In
recent
Add an article
a recent
show examples
study, there are still 20,340 books that
still
Add a missing verb
are still
show examples
in paperback in one city.
That is
why
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
government
building a free
library
will give
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
bigger
access
to older
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
especially if each
town
having
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
local wisdom in a paperback
book
. Another positive side is that free
library
Fix the agreement mistake
libraries
show examples
can
also
turn into public
space
Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
show examples
where people can collaborate. Some
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
provided
such
as podcast
room
Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
show examples
or meeting
room
Fix the agreement mistake
rooms
show examples
can have
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
impact
on creating ideas for its
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
. On the other side, it will
impacting
Change the verb form
impact
be impacting
show examples
on the
government
budget if they build a free
library
. It is because the budget can be used for building more important infrastructure based on their priority.
For instance
, if a
town
wants to build
free
Add an article
a free
show examples
school or road to
access
some areas in
town
.
It
Add a verb
It is
It was
show examples
also
not
necesarry
Correct your spelling
necessary
for building
Change preposition
to build
show examples
free
Correct article usage
a free
show examples
library
because many
citizen
Change to a plural noun
citizens
show examples
have
access
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
where they can
access
the
book
in
digital
Change the article
a digital
show examples
way. Of
course
Add a comma
course,
show examples
it can happen with the
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
show examples
of
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
such
as
scanning
Change preposition
by scanning
show examples
old
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
and
turn
Wrong verb form
turning
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
digital
version
Fix the agreement mistake
versions
show examples
. In conclusion, the initiative of building a free
library
is having both positive and negative
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
. For positive
impact
, it will create space for its
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
to collaborate and
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
access
older
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
. As for the negative, it will
impacting
Change the verb form
impact
be impacting
show examples
on their budget
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
building other infrastructure.
Submitted by alyalihan28 on

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clarity
Try to carefully proofread your essay to correct small grammatical errors and ensure proper tense usage. This will help clarify your ideas even more for the reader.
cohesion
Your essay could benefit from more detailed conclusions that specifically tie back to the points made in the body paragraphs. This will help reinforce your argument.
task response
Consider providing a more balanced discussion by elaborating slightly more on the opposing viewpoint. This will help demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of both sides of the issue.
task response
You provided relevant and specific examples, such as the statistics on paperback books, which help to support your points effectively.
coherence
The essay is well-structured overall, with clear paragraphing and a logical division of ideas. This aids in the readability of your discussion.
cohesion
The main points are well-supported, with good reasoning provided for both viewpoints regarding the establishment of free libraries.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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