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Submitted by amalitharangani0Most of villagers are changing their accommodations from villages to cities all around the world. As a result of this countryside residents are lower than town areas.I think this is a negative development and in this essay, I will elaborate my perspectives furthermore.
According to this situation, my take on this is, different of the facilities between the town and the village. As an example, there are lots of shopping centres in the city such as house- hold items, clothes, stationeries, vehicles and so on. Conversely, developed educational centres, schools, hospitals with enough facilities are also at the urban areas. Nevertheless, there are lots of companies and unlimited job opportunities in the city area. Also, mostly there are continuous electricity, gas,water and well planned and punctual transport system as well. So people prefer to live in comfortably and moving to cities as they possible.
Additionally, villagers and town people's have same basic need. Such as food, accommodation, education, good health and freedom as well. In some countries there is unavailable electricity in the countryside. Also, there is poor transport system, teachers and facilities at village schools. Moreover, sometimes not enough medications and human resources. So countryside people preferred to move to town. Finally, countryside population decreased and urbanisation in cities.
In a nutshell, if there is as usual same facilities all over the city and rural areas,as there is lots of freedom in the countryside . My point of view is around the world this point is most prominent in developing countries.
on
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coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing your ideas in a more structured way. Use paragraphs effectively by ensuring each one presents a single main idea. For better coherence, link your paragraphs using appropriate transition words.
clarity
Work on grammatical accuracy and sentence construction. This will help in conveying your ideas more clearly and reduce confusion. Consider practicing more with language proficiency exercises or seeking feedback from peer reviews.
task achievement
Expand upon your examples and explanations. Make sure that each point is clearly explained and well supported with specific examples. This will enhance the completeness and persuasiveness of your argument.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and provides a complete response. You’ve identified important problems related to living in a foreign country and needing to use a foreign language.
task achievement
The essay contains some relevant examples to support your main points, especially the example related to healthcare workers facing language barriers with rural patients.
coherence cohesion
You have made an effort to provide an introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the essay.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?