Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try cooporate more rather that competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In
this
essay, I will discuss arguments from both
sides before stating why I strongly advocate that both
competition and co-operation
play a significant role in Correct your spelling
cooperation
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
life
. A more nuanced picture is necessary.
To begin
with, proponents of constant clash
at work
, at school, and in daily life
can be considered as a good thing; reason
being,Add an article
the reason
a
constant Correct word choice
that a
clash
motivates people to perform tremendously among the
peers. Change the word
their
For instance
, a clash
among peer
leads to brainstorming of ideas and Fix the agreement mistake
peers
reinforce
individuals to Correct subject-verb agreement
reinforces
peak
their potential, which helps them to reach their Verb problem
reach
goal
. Fix the agreement mistake
goals
Additionally
, clash
helps to reinforce critical thinking and logical thinking among humans.
On the contrary
, some believe proponents of co-operation
among Correct your spelling
cooperation
peer
at Fix the agreement mistake
peers
work place
, at educational Correct your spelling
the workplace
institute
, and Fix the agreement mistake
institutes
daily
Change preposition
in daily
life
is considered to be a way better approach than competition, as collaboration between people tend
to lead a better Change the verb form
tends
result
than a solo performance. Fix the agreement mistake
results
For instance
, while
working on a group project, humans are expected to work
in a team, rather than working alone as these projects require great precision and different skills, and it is possible that one can lack those skills while
working on projects. It is believed that team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
work
helps to improve efficiency and builds working relationships. Additionally
, collaboration boosts productivity, boosts morale, and enhances personal growth.
To conclude
, from the arguments and examples given, I firmly believe that both
competition and cooperation play a significant role in Correct article usage
an individuals
individuals
Change noun form
individual's
life
, depending on the work
a person should wisely, that
what Correct word choice
and
time
of approach should be used, Correct your spelling
type
while
some work
requires you to be best and some work
requires you give
Add the particle
to give
a
best Change the article
the
work
, both
things are completely different because sometime
to grow efficiency people are expected to Replace the word
some time
work
in team
as it leads to better results. Add an article
a team
Therefore
, I believe both
sides have their own merits and demerits so, it
should be Correct pronoun usage
they
choosen
wisely Correct your spelling
chosen
according to
the work
approach.Submitted by somynarain12 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
While the introduction clearly states the intention to discuss both views and provide your opinion, it could be more engaging or precise in its wording. For example, 'constant clash' could be rephrased to 'constant competition' for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are a bit convoluted and could be simplified for better readability. Breaking complex sentences into shorter ones can help improve clarity.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples and avoiding repetitive phrasing. For instance, instead of using 'proponents of constant clash,' try varying the expressions to maintain interest and clarity.
task achievement
The essay does a good job of addressing both views, which shows a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
There are effective transitions between paragraphs, which help maintain good flow and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear opinion, enhancing the overall cohesiveness of the essay.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!