IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Living on earth would become difficult in the future. So, more money should be spent on researching other planets to live, like Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#earth #future #money #planets
It is true that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
earth
Add an article
the earth
show examples
 would become more difficult in the distant upcoming years. Henceforth, some more capital should be allocated to
research
 as
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
alternative planets to live, like Mars. I partially agree with
this
 statement I will address why I
decide
Wrong verb form
decided
show examples
this
Change preposition
on this
show examples
 position for the following reasons. To commence with, living
our
Change preposition
on our
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earth
planet
 already
face
Correct subject-verb agreement
faces
show examples
 many
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
due to
ozone
Correct article usage
the ozone
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 layer
is
Wrong verb form
being
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 affected.
This
 means in the
future
 people will not have
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
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planet
 to live
,
Change preposition
on, which
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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pollution, water scarcity, natural calamity and melting ice cubes of polar that lead to we need
another
Change preposition
for another
show examples
planet
 to live
such
 as Mars, so the government should spend more funds
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
space
research
, and
as a result
,
future
 folks will have a
planet
 to live.
For example
, the USA and Russia have spent a higher amount
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
space
research
in
Change preposition
apply
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every year. Needless to say, these kinds of
expriments
Correct your spelling
experiments
 will bring numerous benefits to the
future
as well as
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
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.
In contrast
, existing living
planet
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planets
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 should be protected by spending more money rather than
research
of
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on
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 other planets.
This
 means
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
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planet
 has more resources and all
facilities
Correct article usage
the facilities
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 to live but an alternative
planet
is required
Wrong verb form
requires
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to
Change preposition
apply
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more capital for
research
whether
Change preposition
on whether
show examples
 people live
or
Rephrase
there or
show examples
 not.
For instance
, third-level countries do not allocate money for
space
.
expriments
Correct your spelling
experiments
instead
 of they spend money to
protecting
Wrong verb form
protect
show examples
earth
Add an article
the earth
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 from natural
disaster
Fix the agreement mistake
disasters
show examples
 and pollution.
Hence
, more funds should not
allocate
Wrong verb form
be allocated
show examples
 to
space
 analysis. In conclusion, indeed
space
research
 needs more funds, so the authority should be spent.
This
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 more benefits to the
future
mankind
Change preposition
of mankind
show examples
. Even though,
earth
Correct article usage
the earth
show examples
planet
 needs
bulk
Correct article usage
a bulk
show examples
 amount to prevent and protect our living habitual planets.
Therefore
, I partially agree with
this
 statement and I hope
certainly
Correct pronoun usage
it certainly
show examples
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 numerous benefits to society.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the flow of your essay. Use transitional phrases to link your ideas and ensure a smooth progression from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your essay well.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing a balanced approach to the topic.

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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