IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Living on earth would become difficult in the future. So, more money should be spent on researching other planets to live, like Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is true that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
earth
Add an article
the earth
show examples
 would become more difficult in the distant upcoming years. Henceforth, some more capital should be allocated to
research
Use synonyms
 as
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
alternative planets to live, like Mars. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement I will address why I
decide
Wrong verb form
decided
show examples
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
on this
show examples
 position for the following reasons. To commence with, living
our
Change preposition
on our
show examples
earth
Use synonyms
planet
Use synonyms
 already
face
Correct subject-verb agreement
faces
show examples
 many
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
due to
Linking Words
ozone
Correct article usage
the ozone
show examples
 layer
is
Wrong verb form
being
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 affected.
This
Linking Words
 means in the
future
Use synonyms
 people will not have
Use synonyms
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
planet
Use synonyms
 to live
,
Change preposition
on, which
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
pollution, water scarcity, natural calamity and melting ice cubes of polar that lead to we need
another
Change preposition
for another
show examples
planet
Use synonyms
 to live
such
Linking Words
 as Mars, so the government should spend more funds
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
space
Use synonyms
research
Use synonyms
, and
as a result
Linking Words
,
future
Use synonyms
 folks will have a
planet
Use synonyms
 to live.
For example
Linking Words
, the USA and Russia have spent a higher amount
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
space
Use synonyms
research
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every year. Needless to say, these kinds of
expriments
Correct your spelling
experiments
 will bring numerous benefits to the
future
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, existing living
Use synonyms
planet
Fix the agreement mistake
planets
show examples
 should be protected by spending more money rather than
research
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other planets.
This
Linking Words
 means
Use synonyms
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
planet
Use synonyms
 has more resources and all
facilities
Correct article usage
the facilities
show examples
 to live but an alternative
planet
Use synonyms
is required
Wrong verb form
requires
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more capital for
research
Use synonyms
whether
Change preposition
on whether
show examples
 people live
or
Rephrase
there or
show examples
 not.
For instance
Linking Words
, third-level countries do not allocate money for
space
Use synonyms
.
expriments
Correct your spelling
experiments
instead
Linking Words
 of they spend money to
protecting
Wrong verb form
protect
show examples
Use synonyms
earth
Add an article
the earth
show examples
 from natural
disaster
Fix the agreement mistake
disasters
show examples
 and pollution.
Hence
Linking Words
, more funds should not
allocate
Wrong verb form
be allocated
show examples
 to
space
Use synonyms
 analysis. In conclusion, indeed
space
Use synonyms
research
Use synonyms
 needs more funds, so the authority should be spent.
This
Linking Words
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 more benefits to the
future
Use synonyms
mankind
Change preposition
of mankind
show examples
. Even though,
Use synonyms
earth
Correct article usage
the earth
show examples
planet
Use synonyms
 needs
bulk
Correct article usage
a bulk
show examples
 amount to prevent and protect our living habitual planets.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and I hope
certainly
Correct pronoun usage
it certainly
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 numerous benefits to society.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. This can help clarify your arguments and make them more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas in a clearer and more logical manner. Use paragraphs to separate different points and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
task achievement
Improve the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas. Make sure each point is well-explained and logically developed.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the flow of your essay. Use transitional phrases to link your ideas and ensure a smooth progression from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your essay well.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing a balanced approach to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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