In many places around the world more and more people are suffering from stress-related illnesses. What are the causes of stress and how can the problem be tackled?

Over the
last
few decades,the number of diseases
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
relates
Wrong verb form
related
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
stress
has increased sharply.It is considered that the majority of
people
are suffering from some illnesses with
stress
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
.
This
essay will look at some reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
stress
in the world which
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
to be tackled urgently and
also
I will propose some significant solutions. Let's begin by looking at some causes of pressure
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every where
Correct your spelling
everywhere
show examples
.One of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
is
inappropriate
Add an article
the inappropriate
an inappropriate
show examples
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
situation in some undeveloped countries.
In other words
,most populations are being involved by the lack of ability to pay their costs
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
many
counties
Correct your spelling
countries
show examples
around the world.Another notable cause for feeling worried in some regions is the high rate of
crime
and
unsafty
Correct your spelling
safety
unsafety
in different areas
such
as Columbia,
Mexic
Correct your spelling
Mexico
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc.Generally speaking,The more the range of
crime
like robbery and murder
climb
Correct subject-verb agreement
climbs
show examples
,the more tension
spread
Wrong verb form
spreads
show examples
in these cities. Turning to the side of the solutions,to tackle
this
issue the
government
should improve
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
circumstances.
For instance
,the
government
can provide new jobs for
juvenile
Fix the agreement mistake
juveniles
show examples
and
also
increase the range of society welfare in order to drop the rate of
stress
among
people
.Dealing with the issue of
crime
,the
government
should bring in some laws
such
as banning
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
drug dealers and arresting criminal populations so as to eradicate these sources of
stress
in some countries.
It is clear that
,If
people
live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
somewhere with high
safty
Correct your spelling
safety
,they will not be engaged by diseases
relates
Wrong verb form
related
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
stress
.
To conclude
,It is true that
people
are suffering from some illnesses with the source of tension and It has a lot of various reasons,like
Correct article usage
an unproper
show examples
unproper
Correct your spelling
improper
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
situation and
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
of
crime
.These reasons will remain unchanged unless the
government
reckon
Verb problem
thinks
show examples
about substantial solutions.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate on your main points with more specific examples or data. This would make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on making your transitions between paragraphs smoother. This will help maintain a logical flow throughout the essay.
language accuracy
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to make your writing clearer and more professional.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps guide the reader.
task achievement
You have identified some of the major causes of stress and some potential solutions, which addresses the task effectively.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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