In many countries, the amount o f crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes o f crime? How can we deal with those causes?
Nowadays,
crime
is in increasing trend all over the world. Every day, we hear news of new ways cruelties are committed. One reasons
for more lawlessness is because of Change to a singular noun
reason
increasing
unemployment rate and authorities can solve it by creating more job opportunities.
On the one hand, the Correct article usage
the increasing
ever increasing
world population contributes to unemployment around the world. Add a hyphen
ever-increasing
Besides
, when more citizens are without job
, they do not have a good living standard and live in poverty Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
thus
causing man
and Fix the agreement mistake
men
woman
alike to turn to Fix the agreement mistake
women
crime
such
as robbery, selling drugs and murder to meet their daily needs. For example
, India has one of the highest population
and despite having so many work Fix the agreement mistake
populations
force
, Correct your spelling
workforce
crime
rates are still not be able to controlled and yet many crime
are not reported.
Change to a plural noun
crimes
On the other hand
, having higher
population can be seen as a positive solution as there will be more Correct article usage
a higher
work force
for the industrial sector. Authorities could invest Correct your spelling
workforce
and
train Change preposition
in and
the
young people especially to provide the education and skills needed for the job market. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, Malaysia provide
many Change the verb form
provides
governmental funded
skill classes for young people to acquire skills so that they can start up their businesses.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
government-funded
although
, there
unemployment could cause more Correct pronoun usage
apply
crime
in many countries, government
could bring it under control by providing skill Add an article
the government
workshop
.Fix the agreement mistake
workshops
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task well, but make sure to refine your main points and support them with more concrete examples. This will earn you higher marks in task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs for introduction, main points, and conclusion to improve coherence and cohesion. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear, but avoid repetition and ensure your examples directly support the points made. This will make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main argument, showing a clear link between unemployment and crime, and a solution for it.
task achievement
You did well in mentioning both causes and solutions to crime, giving a balanced view of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your writing is easy to follow, and you make good use of examples to illustrate your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.