You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter • say why he/she would not enjoy going to college • explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her • suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her

#friend #advice #college #job #idea

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Dear Adam, Hope

this

Linking Words

letter finds you in good health and in the best spirits. I am writing

this

Linking Words

letter to clear up your confusion about whether to adopt a

job

Use synonyms

or go to

college

Use synonyms

for

further

Linking Words

studies. I do not think that you will really enjoy going to

college

Use synonyms

because

since

Add the comma(s)

, since

show examples

your school days, you always wanted to have a

job

Use synonyms

to gain practical experience in

business

Add an article

the business

show examples

. After completing high school, I chose to attend

college

Use synonyms

and do a

job

Use synonyms

later. But it took quite long for me to find a perfect

job

Use synonyms

for myself.

Thus

Linking Words

, I think choosing a work would be

better

Add an article

a better

the better

show examples

choice as it will help you to learn leadership qualities,

account

Correct word choice

and account

show examples

management, and understand the shares and bonds better. After obtaining practical skills, you can go to

college

Use synonyms

to polish your skills. You have scored extremely good marks in your high school.

Hence

Linking Words

, you can try to find some jobs with local companies that hire seasonal workers as assistants.

This

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will be the best option for you as you can learn all the strategies and tricks from your senior accountants. Later, you can attend

college

Use synonyms

and find a suitable

job

Use synonyms

abroad for a high pay package. I hope my suggestion will prove useful to you. Yours sincerely, Navneet Kaur.

Submitted by ss6802125 on Tue Jul 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to create smoother transitions between paragraphs to improve the overall flow of the letter.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each idea is fully developed in its own paragraph without overlapping with other points.

task achievement

The letter covers all necessary points: explaining why college might not be enjoyable, the benefits of getting a job, and suitable job suggestions.

task achievement

Friendly and encouraging tone, suitable for a letter to a friend.

coherence cohesion

Clear and appropriate opening and closing to the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

7 paragraphs

214 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Real-world experience
Practical experience
Financial independence
On-the-job training
Student loan debt
Personal growth
Professional networking
Career development
Skilled workers
Job market
Career goals
Immediate income
Professional relationships
Market demand
Defining interests
Educational investments

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People in big cities are facing many health challenges due to a high level of air pollution. What causes air pollution in big cities? Can you suggest some ways to deal with this situation?

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Some parents buy their kids a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages of a child having a large number of toys?

Some people think that the goverment should be responsible for crime prevention. Others believe that it is the responsibilty of the individual to protect themselves. Disucss both views and give their opinion.