IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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In recent years, there has been a growing recognition
in
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of
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 the proportion of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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 migrating
in
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to
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the
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apply
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urban areas, leading to the population of the countryside plummeting incredibly.
While
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 I agree that moving to
cities
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 is a positive aspect there will
also
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 be some drawbacks. On the
one
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 hand,
one
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 evident benefit of migrating to big
cities
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 is the development of professional and personal life. Large
cities
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 can offer various opportunities regarding careers but
also
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 on personal plans. In today’s world, the biggest companies with the best
pay-checks
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paychecks
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 operate in urban areas, leading to the requirement of several employees.
For instance
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, London is the largest city in Europe with the biggest rate of immigrants because it offers several workplaces in different fields and various activities which
people
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 can enjoy doing.
Thus
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, the rate of the number of pupils migrating from the countryside will soar
due to
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 better salaries and quality of life.
On the other hand
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, there are obvious disadvantages to increasing the number of
people
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 moving to
cities
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 from the countryside.
Firstly
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, if each rural person moves
one
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 by
one
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, there will be a moment when that village will probably disappear. A good example would be Russia which loses almost two villages annually because villagers tend to move to big
cities
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such
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 as Moscow which can offer them better opportunities.
Secondly
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, with so many migrants,
cities
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 will be overcrowded and the air and noise pollution will rise dramatically, leading to a potential disaster. In conclusion,
although
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 the movement of
people
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 into the
cities
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 can lead to both positive and negative aspects, the advantages of
this
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 statement outweigh the disadvantages.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your stance in the introduction and conclusion to reinforce your position on the topic.
task achievement
Use more precise vocabulary and avoid repeating phrases to enhance clarity and avoid redundancy.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to maintain a seamless flow of ideas.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive discussion of both the benefits and drawbacks of migration from rural areas to cities, showing a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is well maintained with clear paragraphing, making the essay easy to follow.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, such as London and Russia, enhances the argument and provides concrete support for the points made.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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