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Band 5.5

The best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest more resources on the young people. Do you agree and disagree?

#country #future #resources #people
Living in the era of technology, it is wise for nations to invest in the younger generation to meet the future demands of modernization and innovation. I strongly support
this
 view.
To begin
 with, biotechnology and science are currently generating significant excitement with the latest global innovations.
Therefore
, it is crucial for a country to motivate its citizens to remain engaged with the ongoing advancements in these fields.
For example
, teenagers are constantly using their smartphones and tablets, indicating familiarity with technology.
Consequently
, investing in their potential could herald a prosperous future for their community.
Moreover
, education in diverse fields like computer science, biotechnology, space, and medicine is elevating the country's global ranking. Specifically, advancements in aerospace and astronomy necessitate extensive periods for conducting large-scale experiments and documenting outcomes, a task young researchers are eagerly undertaking to ensure continued discoveries.
Additionally
, as noted, the youth have demonstrated their prowess and aptitude in navigating new technologies across various domains with
vigor
Change the spelling
vigour
show examples
 and success. In conclusion, it is imperative that the country focuses on its young population to construct and cultivate its future by nurturing their education and knowledge.
Submitted by ghadeer_lab on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement further, consider adding more varied and specific examples to illustrate points. This could help strengthen the arguments and make them more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical progression throughout the essay by connecting the ideas more explicitly between paragraphs. For instance, using transition phrases can improve the flow and coherence.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position on the topic and maintains it throughout, demonstrating a strong task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This enhances readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported with relevant explanations that relate to the central argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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