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Some people say that the idea of having a career with one company is an old-fashioned one. To what extent do you think having several different jobs or career is better than a career with one company?

#people #idea #career #company #jobs
Nowadays, the concept of having multiple
career
 options is a new trend with several advantages like multiple
income
 sources, a secured future, and a better lifestyle. I strongly agree with
this
 psychology as it inspires the individual to grow continuously in his/her
career
.
Firstly
, having more than
one
job
 gives you financial security as an individual has multiple sources of
income
 and
benefits
 to hold long-term expenses
such
 as purchasing a home, having a new car, or securing fixed deposits for their future. The statistics show that
people
 having multiple jobs have more purchasing power as compared to others having a single
job
 or
one
 earning source.
Moreover
, layovers on a
job
 impact a single
career
 holder more than
people
 with more than
one
job
. To secure yourself from unknown financial burdens or stress, it is better to explore more
career
 options rather than depending on
one
 employer.
Furthermore
, maintaining a better lifestyle requires a reliable source of
income
. In
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
people
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 have government jobs which comes with
job
 security and a fixed
income
 with other
benefits
.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 in today's scenario, no
job
 will give you a
gurentee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
 of lifelong stability.
On the other hand
, having
one
job
 is not sufficient to bear the
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
 expenses of a household.
Thus
,
people
incline
Wrong verb form
are inclined
show examples
 towards different opportunities and offers for financial stability.
Altough
Correct your spelling
Although
, working with
one
 company makes you reliable and gives more
benefits
 in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
, it requires a lot of dedication,
loyality
Correct your spelling
loyalty
 and solidity. In conclusion, I can say that working with more
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
one
 company gives you financial
benefits
as well as
upbring
Correct your spelling
upbringing
 your
career
 and lifestyle
whereas
 to bond with
single
Correct article usage
a single
show examples
 company requires more dedication of time and work.
Submitted by amarjot755 on

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evidence strengthening
Provide more specific examples or statistics where possible to strengthen arguments. For example, mention particular fields or job roles where multiple jobs are more prevalent.
grammar review
Review grammatical errors and improve sentence structure to enhance clarity. For example, 'lays off' should be used instead of 'layovers', and 'guarantee' instead of 'gurentee'.
structure
Clear introduction and conclusion which help frame the essay effectively.
coherence
Logical flow of ideas with each paragraph focusing on a different reason why having multiple jobs could be beneficial.
balanced view
Addresses both the benefits of multiple jobs and the potential benefits of staying with one company, providing a balanced view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Diverse skill set
  • Adaptable
  • Versatile
  • Professional network
  • Networking opportunities
  • Career stagnation
  • Fresh challenges
  • Motivated
  • Engaged
  • Earning potential
  • Negotiation skills
  • Compensation packages
  • Flexibility
  • Personal growth
  • Career aspirations
  • Fulfillment
  • Risk management
  • Financial troubles
  • Downsizing
  • Safety net
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