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Band 6.5

The charts detail the proportion of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed, employed or further education in 1980, 1990, and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The charts detail the proportion of Australian secondary school graduates who were unemployed, employed or further education in 1980, 1990, and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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This
Linking Words
 report derives from the listed pie charts which enumerate the comparison in the share of jobless, occupied and
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 of Australian secondary school graduates in the period of time within 3 decades, more precisely, in 1980, 1990 and 2000. The unit of measurement in
percent
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per cent
show examples
. A glance at the charts reveals that
the
Change the article
apply
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1980 witnessed the most colossal proportion of
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 takers and 1990 was the year that experienced a decent amount of job seekers
whereas
Linking Words
 a tremendous quantity of
people
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who have
Wrong verb form
had
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 a job in 2000.
In addition
Linking Words
, the percentage of unemployed
people
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 was the lowest in each chart.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, mankind who decided to proceed
their
Change preposition
with their
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education
Use synonyms
resulted
Add the preposition
resulted in
resulted from
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 50% in 1980, compared to the
people
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 with
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 comprised 40%, and the rest of the tiny 10%
took
Wrong verb form
was taken
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 by jobless
people
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. As regards
the
Change the article
apply
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1990, unemployed individuals faced an inferior share of merely 12%, whilst employed and
further
Linking Words
education
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 takers recorded 50% which is
the a
Choose an article
the
a
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substantion
Correct your spelling
substantial
substantive
 indicator and 38%, respectively. In stark contrast to the aforementioned years,
similarly
Linking Words
,
people
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 who preferred to carry on their
education
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 constituted 37%,
while
Linking Words
 55% comprised
people
Use synonyms
 with occupation as the most remarkable metric throughout the entire listed years,
along with
Linking Words
 the measly percentage of jobless humankind,
resulted
Add the preposition
resulted in
resulted from
show examples
 8% in 2000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words education, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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