IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The best way that a government can reduce the traffic congestion in cities is to provide public transport free of cost to people 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #traffic #congestion #cities #transport #cost #people #hours #week
To improve the traffic in cities the government should
sponsord
Correct your spelling
sponsored
sponsor
ilimited
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limited
unlimited
use
 of public
transport
. I believe that
provided
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 free
transport
 to
people
 may bring
benefitis
Correct your spelling
benefits
to society. I believe that
this
 will bring advantages
such
us
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
discouraged
Wrong verb form
discouraging
show examples
people
 from the
use
 of private
transport
 and less
emmisions
Correct your spelling
emissions
 of CO2
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the atmosphere. These days, the
use
 of private
transport
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 increased, creating traffic
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 during peak hours. One possible solution is the
use
 of public
transport
. If the government
sponsord
Correct your spelling
sponsors
 the public
transport
system
 it is highly
probale
Correct your spelling
probable
 that many
people
 will
be opt
Change the verb form
opt
show examples
 for using
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
show examples
 or metro
instead
 of their own car.
Specially
Replace the word
Especially
show examples
people
 who
lives
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live
show examples
 with a
minimun
Correct your spelling
minimum
 salary or students.
Additionally
,
promote
Wrong verb form
promoting
show examples
 the
use
 of public
transport
 will bring a paramount impact in the decreasing
emmision
Correct your spelling
emission
emissions
 of toxic
transport
.
However
, to make
this
 idea
sustentable
Correct your spelling
sustainable
 in time it is required an
adequated
Replace the word
adequate
show examples
 public
transport
 infrastructure.
It
Correct pronoun usage
There
show examples
 is not enough free access to the public
system
. The
system
 must fulfil all the
requiremnts
Correct your spelling
requirements
for instance
 be
efficent
Correct your spelling
efficient
 and have the extension to cover
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
the
city
Correct word choice
whole city
show examples
. If the public
transport
system
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is not
efficent
Correct your spelling
efficient
sufficient
 enough,
people
 will need to
use
 private
transport
 despite the expenditure.
To conclude
,
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 free
transport
 may be a positive idea to decrease the traffic.
Nevertheless
,
this
system
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to be efficient for the users because regardless the money,
people
 need to go to work, study, travel, etc. and will
use
 the option more
confortable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
 and efficient for them.
Submitted by estefaniamn2014 on

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grammar
Ensure that you carefully proofread your work to avoid typos and grammatical mistakes. Words like 'sponsord,' 'bring benefitis,' 'emmision,' and 'requiremnts' should be corrected.
task response
Expand on and provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Structure your paragraphs more clearly, ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea. This will improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
task response
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your points and reiterates your stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, following a logical structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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