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Band 5.5

Write about the following topic. People should choose their course of study not on the basis of their own interests, but based on the kinds of jobs they can get. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #people #course #study #basis #interests #kinds #jobs
Some people decide to pursue education based on their
interests
,
while
 others aim for better job prospects. In my opinion, finding a job connected to one's
interests
 is crucial because it provides more motivation for learning and makes the educational experience more enjoyable. First and foremost, having motivation to study is very important.
For example
, when I was studying math, the complicated formulas often drove me crazy, and I easily gave up because I wasn't interested in it.
In contrast
, I have a great interest in learning English, which motivates me to study independently.
This
 not only makes learning more efficient but
also
 improves my English skills rapidly.
Therefore
, it's important to choose a subject you like to learn.
Secondly
, enjoying what you learn encourages you to put more effort into it. Recently, some Taiwanese students have struggled with their school life and felt immense pressure to succeed, leading some to consider suicide. Research shows that they don't really enjoy what they are learning. I believe that enjoying the learning process is essential for consistent and sustainable study. In conclusion, learning should be a joyful experience. We should find out what truly
interests
 us. Choosing courses based on your
interests
 provides more motivation and makes learning more enjoyable.
Submitted by aa0963178783 on

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task
Ensure to address both sides of the argument more explicitly to demonstrate a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing topic sentences and seamlessly connecting them to provide a smoother transition between ideas.
task
While examples provided are relevant, consider adding more diversity in examples to encompass different fields and perspectives.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly presents the main argument and the conclusion effectively summarizes the points discussed.
task
The essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas on the importance of interest in education.
task
The examples provided are relevant and support the main points adequately.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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