The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.

#information #location #dance #classes #people #town #australia

The pie

chart

illustrates the location of dance

classes

that young people undertake in an Australian town,

whereas

the bar

chart

demonstrates the types of them.

Overall

, it is evident that

while

people aged below 11 are most keen on ballet and tap dances, those from

Correct article usage

the 11

show examples

-16 age bracket show a significant interest

for

Change preposition

show examples

modern ones. Notably, the majority of these

classes

take place in private studios. Looking at the pie

chart

in detail, it is noticeable that almost half of the dance

classes

take place in private studios, making it the most popular location. School halls follow, contributing to almost a third of the

classes

. In comparison, community halls and other, and colledge-based studios, account for the lowest proportions at nearly 20% and 10% of the figure respectively. Moving on to the bar

chart

, the youngest age bracket has a substantial tendency towards ballet, with roughly 600 of them attending.

However

, only 300 of them took part in modern dances,

while

the figure for 11-to 16-year-olds is well above 500 students.

Lastly

, tap dances are of high popularity among below-11s with more than 400 students, compared to the older age group's 400.

Submitted by bita.rezaei7052 on Fri Jul 12 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, classes with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

193 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

distribution
attendance
community centers
dance schools
private studios
ballet
hip-hop
contemporary
ballroom
analysis
popularity
accessibility
cost
cultural trends
media influences

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The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.

some people thinhk that using mobile phones and computers has a negative effect on young people'reading and writing skills . to what extend do you agree or disagree

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Directors of large organisations receive much higher salaries than ordinary workers. Some think it is necessary, while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to the cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing, Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to the cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing,  Do you think this is a positive or negative development?