The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.
The pie
chart
illustrates the location of dance
classes
that young people undertake in an Australian town,
whereas
the bar
chart
demonstrates the types of them.
Overall
, it is evident that
while
people aged below 11 are most keen on ballet and tap dances, those from
11
Correct article usage
the 11
show examples
-16 age bracket show a significant interest
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
modern ones. Notably, the majority of these
classes
take place in private studios. Looking at the pie
chart
in detail, it is noticeable that almost half of the dance
classes
take place in private studios, making it the most popular location. School halls follow, contributing to almost a third of the
classes
. In comparison, community halls and other, and colledge-based studios, account for the lowest proportions at nearly 20% and 10% of the figure respectively. Moving on to the bar
chart
, the youngest age bracket has a substantial tendency towards ballet, with roughly 600 of them attending.
However
, only 300 of them took part in modern dances,
while
the figure for 11-to 16-year-olds is well above 500 students.
Lastly
, tap dances are of high popularity among below-11s with more than 400 students, compared to the older age group's 400.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, classes with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • distribution
  • attendance
  • community centers
  • dance schools
  • private studios
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • ballroom
  • analysis
  • popularity
  • accessibility
  • cost
  • cultural trends
  • media influences
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