In some countries ordinary citizens are allowed to keep a gun in their house. Some people think this is a good idea, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Having a
gun
by
civil society in various Change preposition
in
countries
is a sensitive issue with strong opinions for and against
. Correct pronoun usage
against it
This
essay will expose both sides of the argument and present a final conclusion.
Those who support this
policy outline some benefits of keeping a gun
in the house by ordinary citizens
. Firstly
, Some countries
have high crime rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
that
is
threatening society. In Correct subject-verb agreement
are
this
condition, gun
can be Fix the agreement mistake
guns
a
right option for Correct article usage
the
the
ordinary Correct article usage
apply
citizens
to protect themselves . Secondly
, gun
is considered more effective to paralyze criminals than others, with just one shoot, a criminal can be caught . It also
relates to countries
experiencing war. Civil society using
Wrong verb form
uses
gun
to protect their family from Fix the agreement mistake
guns
the
enemies.
Correct article usage
apply
However
, some people argue that keeping a gun
is not a good choice. Guns are considered most harmful for ordinary citizens
because they do not have spesial
Correct your spelling
special
skill
to operate them. There are Fix the agreement mistake
skills
Many
cases where people died Fix capitalization
many
due to
accidental shots caused by less ability to use it. It is also
very dangerous for family’s
Change noun form
family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
especially
children. Commonly, children are very curious about everything. They might look for that and try to use it. Add the comma(s)
, especially
in addition
, having a gun
can weaken the authority and law applied. The people can make a judgement for a criminal on
their own ways, or even shoot the perpetrator Change preposition
in
untill
he dies . In Correct your spelling
until
this
case, prison as a facility developed by government
for criminals is useless. Add an article
the government
Thus
, Rights to live can be violated in this
way.
To sum up
/in summary, I believe that although
keeping a gun
has several benefits, the drawbacks outweigh are more significant . The countries
must consider the positive and negative effects of this
policy for
their Change preposition
on
citizens
.Submitted by k a l l a on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your main points. For instance, mention a specific country where gun ownership has had a noticeable impact on crime rates or safety.
coherence cohesion
Improve the conclusion by restating the main points more explicitly and linking them to your final opinion. This will make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence variety to enhance readability. For example, combine some of the shorter sentences or use different sentence structures.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument clearly, which demonstrates a balanced approach to the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the essay, and the conclusion attempts to summarize the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Clear structure with separate paragraphs for arguments for and against gun ownership.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?