In some countries ordinary citizens are allowed to keep a gun in their house. Some people think this is a good idea, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Having a
gun
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
civil society in various
countries
is a sensitive issue with strong opinions for and
against
Correct pronoun usage
against it
show examples
.
This
essay will expose both sides of the argument and present a final conclusion. Those who support
this
policy outline some benefits of keeping a
gun
in the house by ordinary
citizens
.
Firstly
, Some
countries
have high crime
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
that
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
threatening society. In
this
condition,
gun
Fix the agreement mistake
guns
show examples
can be
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
right option for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ordinary
citizens
to protect themselves .
Secondly
,
gun
is considered more effective to paralyze criminals than others, with just one shoot, a criminal can be caught . It
also
relates to
countries
experiencing war. Civil society
using
Wrong verb form
uses
show examples
gun
Fix the agreement mistake
guns
show examples
to protect their family from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
enemies.
However
, some people argue that keeping a
gun
is not a good choice. Guns are considered most harmful for ordinary
citizens
because they do not have
spesial
Correct your spelling
special
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
to operate them. There are
Many
Fix capitalization
many
show examples
cases where people died
due to
accidental shots caused by less ability to use it. It is
also
very dangerous for
family’s
Change noun form
family
show examples
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
children. Commonly, children are very curious about everything. They might look for that and try to use it.
in addition
, having a
gun
can weaken the authority and law applied. The people can make a judgement for a criminal
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their own ways, or even shoot the perpetrator
untill
Correct your spelling
until
he dies . In
this
case, prison as a facility developed by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
for criminals is useless.
Thus
, Rights to live can be violated in
this
way.
To sum up
/in summary, I believe that
although
keeping a
gun
has several benefits, the drawbacks outweigh are more significant . The
countries
must consider the positive and negative effects of
this
policy
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
citizens
.
Submitted by k a l l a on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your main points. For instance, mention a specific country where gun ownership has had a noticeable impact on crime rates or safety.
coherence cohesion
Improve the conclusion by restating the main points more explicitly and linking them to your final opinion. This will make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence variety to enhance readability. For example, combine some of the shorter sentences or use different sentence structures.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument clearly, which demonstrates a balanced approach to the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the essay, and the conclusion attempts to summarize the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Clear structure with separate paragraphs for arguments for and against gun ownership.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • bear arms
  • self-defense
  • deterrence
  • constitutional rights
  • Second Amendment (USA-specific)
  • firearm regulations
  • gun control
  • background checks
  • gun-related accidents
  • homicide rates
  • law enforcement
  • public safety
  • concealed carry permit
  • responsible ownership
  • mental health screening
  • amendment rights
  • gun violence
  • firearm training
What to do next:
Look at other essays: