Nowadays more and more people want to get things done instantly. Why is it? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
It is true that today everything can be gained easily, and
this
causes people
to have strong
desire to finish things instantly . There could be several reasons for Add an article
a strong
this
, and I consider it to be a negative trend.
In modern
era, Add an article
the modern
technology
development is growing very rapidly. It provides a lot of convenience for people
in all sectors. Nowadays there are a lot of mobile applications in digital platforms that provide most human needs. For example
, the
Correct article usage
apply
people
do not need to go to market
and cook. They can order some food from food delivery services just with several clicks . In another case, Correct article usage
the market
people
do not need to create manual design
to build their Fix the agreement mistake
designs
house
, because there are a lot of digital design applications Fix the agreement mistake
houses
in
their Change preposition
on
device
. Fix the agreement mistake
devices
Thus
, everyone
is very possible to be an architect . Correct pronoun usage
it
Also
, in communication
sector, Add an article
the communication
the
Correct article usage
apply
technology
allows us to meet anyone from various parts of the world without meeting directly.
In my view, this
phenomenon presents several detrimental effects to
Change preposition
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
. Convenience in various lines cause
less creativity and appreciation for the process, creating unproductive Change the verb form
causes
people
. They will become lazier, and do less
physical movements. Correct quantifier usage
fewer
Thus
, this
can have an impact on reducing the
human health quality. Correct article usage
apply
In Addition
, it also
influences human psychology, where they will rely on the digital platform. They will face any
troubles if they are in some places that are left behind in Correct quantifier usage
apply
technology
. Lastly
, development
Correct article usage
the development
technology
Change preposition
of technology
make
individuals have less interaction. As Change the verb form
makes
social
being, direct interaction is needed.
In conclusion, the trend of wanting instant processes occurs Add an article
a social
due to
A and B. For me, this
brings undesirable consequences such
as C and D, which should be considered.Submitted by k a l l a on
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coherence
Your essay could benefit from a clearer structure with distinct paragraphs dedicated to each point. For instance, one paragraph discussing the reasons for instant gratification and another discussing its negative implications.
language
Make sure to proofread your essay for minor language errors, such as verb tense agreement and prepositions. For instance, 'development technology' should be 'technological development' and 'have less interaction' should be 'interact less'
task response
You could enhance your task response by providing more specific examples or evidence to support your claims. For example, beyond mentioning food delivery services, you could discuss specific impacts on societal behavior or health statistics.
task response
Your essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt, identifying reasons for instant gratification and discussing its negative implications.
coherence
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good framework for your essay.
support
There is a good attempt to provide examples and explanations for the points raised, which helps in illustrating your arguments.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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