Experts say older people were happier and healthier in the past because they did more exercise and spent more time with family and friends, whereas now many suffer loneliness and health problems. What are the causes of this and what are some solutions?
Research finds that nowadays older
people
tend to Use synonyms
get
problems with their emotions and their health, rather than when they were in the past. Verb problem
have
This
phenomenon may be caused by some factors, but some possible solutions can be taken to tackle Linking Words
this
,Linking Words
that
will be discussed in Correct pronoun usage
which
this
essay.
mental and physical well-being
Linking Words
Firstly
, less Linking Words
friend
and less energy become a big possible cause of health and emotional condition of older Fix the agreement mistake
friends
people
. Now, a lot of their peers might have passed away earlier. Use synonyms
However
, Linking Words
life
with peersChange preposition
in life
,
can keep their emotions and Remove the comma
apply
do
not feel alone because they have Unnecessary verb
apply
same
experience. Add an article
the same
Furthermore
, their physical condition is not as strong as in the past. Less energy Linking Words
make
their activities Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
are
so limited and they Unnecessary verb
apply
became
less active, and time by time it has Wrong verb form
become
effect
on their health.
Add an article
an effect
Secondly
, Linking Words
this
development era has changed the human lifestyle to become more instant, where most of the needs can be fulfilled just from Linking Words
home
. Use synonyms
For example
, there are many varieties of vehicles if one wants to go to any Linking Words
places
, or many Fix the agreement mistake
place
food
providers to order some Use synonyms
food
. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, nowadays many families purchase Linking Words
exercising
equipment for their old parents, so the Wrong verb form
exercise
exercising
is just done at Replace the word
exercise
home
. Those facts, make the older Use synonyms
people
do less physical movements and less socialize outside. Use synonyms
This
instant Linking Words
also
has Linking Words
impact
on the availability of healthy Add an article
an impact
food
at Use synonyms
home
. Nowadays, most Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
have
been packaged and contaminated with chemicals for preservation.
Change the verb form
has
However
, that can be tackled by doing some actions. Linking Words
Government
or families can help to provide a circle or older Correct article usage
The government
people
community as interaction’s means for them. Use synonyms
also
, as human beings, the Linking Words
people
outside or older Use synonyms
people
’s family members should be more sensitive to keep communicatingUse synonyms
to
the older Change preposition
with
people
. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, the families must move to a healthy lifestyle, like starting to stock fresh and organic foods at Linking Words
home
.
In conclusion, some factors have influenced older Use synonyms
people
’s condition Use synonyms
such
as havingLinking Words
less
friends and less energy and lifestyle. But it can be prevented with some measures by Change the quantifier
fewer
government
and individuals.Correct article usage
the government
Submitted by k a l l a on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence.
task achievement
Make sure to provide clear and specific examples to support your main points, which will add depth to the essay and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction should briefly outline the main points that will be discussed in the essay to provide a roadmap for the reader. Ensure the conclusion effectively summarizes these points without introducing new ideas.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas more comprehensively in each paragraph and ensure that the sentences within each paragraph flow logically. Some sentences can be simplified to improve clarity.
task achievement
The essay addresses both causes and solutions, showing a clear understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
A conclusion is present, summarizing the main points discussed in the essay.
task achievement
The essay shows an effort to cover various aspects of the topic, including social and technological changes.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example