IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
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Nowadays,
students
Use synonyms
 in universities have
dilemma
Fix the agreement mistake
dilemmas
show examples
 about the educational system.
One
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 group of people
convinced
Add a missing verb
is convinced
show examples
 that it is important to concentrate on the specialization that you
learn
Wrong verb form
are learning
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,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 another group thinks that it is
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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 activity to learn
another subjects
Replace the adjective
another subject
other subjects
show examples
besides
Linking Words
 the major
one
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. It is important to sort out the pros and cons of these opinions. On the
one
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 hand, learning the main subject is important to increase people's knowledge and to be more professional.
Also
Linking Words
,
students
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 do not interrupt themself from their specialization,
besides
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 they have more possible
time
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 for learning. Feeling
confidence
Replace the word
confident
show examples
 in their profession is necessary to succeed.
For instance
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, my father always pays attention to
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 something
that is
Linking Words
 dedicated to his profession,
that's
Correct word choice
and that's
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 why he is
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
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 businessman,
Linking Words
furthermore
Add a comma
furthermore,
show examples
 he
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not like to waste his
time
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 other things,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 result is that he has a lot of
time
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 to immerse himself in the study of his topic. On another hand,
students
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 never know what will happen in the future, maybe topics that they have will not be necessary
that is
Linking Words
 why it is important to learn more than only
one
Use synonyms
 subject.
Also
Linking Words
, searching
Change preposition
for another
show examples
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 information
except
Change preposition
besides
show examples
 their subject can increase erudition
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can be
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 experience in the future.
For example
Linking Words
, my sister always
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
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 in learning new things, she
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a lot of practice.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 way of learning can
also
Linking Words
 lead to the
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
. In conclusion, everyone can choose their own way of learning, the success becomes
personally
Change the word
personal
show examples
, it depends on how
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 working all the
time
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. In my opinion, I would learn
another subjects
Replace the adjective
another subject
other subjects
show examples
 at the same
time
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 as my major
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
one
Use synonyms
, the reason for
that is
Linking Words
 I want to study something new and various, I think that
this
Linking Words
 is positive
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 as well, it can lead them to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
excellent experience and erudition.
Submitted by angelbonita6 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the consistency of sentence structures and eliminate minor grammatical errors to enhance clarity and coherence.
task achievement
Expand and elaborate on the supporting arguments to provide a more comprehensive discussion. Detail your points to strengthen your response.
task achievement
The essay addresses both perspectives of the prompt and provides a clear opinion in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and gives a personal opinion, ending the essay well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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