Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?
Regarding the fact that we are living in the modern world, quite a few
people
make an effort to determine new profitable approaches to charity issues. Consequently
, a considerable number of people
firmly state that affluent countries should aid other poorer nations, while
the other majority of people
unanimously denounce and claim that the governments of those needy societies ought to take care of their citizens by themselves. Personally, I hold the view that we should ponder over this
tender subject equally and properly. The following essay targets to support the mentioned statements above with appropriate reasons and examples.
Above all
, I would like to point out that there are several cities that cannot provide their habitants
with sufficient Correct your spelling
inhabitants
amount
of food and water Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
due to
their poor economy, natural resouces
and unproductive territories. Correct your spelling
resources
As a result
of these consequences, thousands of people
face starvation, fatal diseases, pollution and unhygienic
environment, Correct article usage
an unhygienic
also
they do not get the opportunity to attend school and get educated. Moreover
, in order to cease such
situations in the world different companies, agencies, officials and celebrities come together to find solution
ways for these problems. They usually organize special donations and try to raise global awareness about these needy communities.
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
On the other hand
, we must take into consideration that the first responsibility of each government is to take care of their own citizens rather than only helping needy people
outside of their countries. In addition
, it is apparent that if those poorer civilizations fully rely on the aid that comes from outside and do not try to carry out their own obligations countiniously
, Correct your spelling
continuously
then
it may trigger more hazards to both sides of this
relations
. Replace the word
relationship
People
that
trust wholly to others’ charity, and without Correct pronoun usage
who
industry
of their own, will always be poor.
All things considered, I am highly confident to restate that even though we should not neglect impoverished nations and Correct article usage
an industry
try
give a hand to them when Add the particle
try to
its
necessary. Charity has always been Replace the word
it's
it is
the
highly appreciated characteristic of a person Correct article usage
a
throghout
Correct your spelling
throughout
the
history in various cultures and religions.Correct article usage
apply
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task achievement
While the essay presents a thoughtful discussion on both sides of the argument, it can be improved by offering more specific examples and evidence to strengthen the main points. For instance, mentioning particular countries or incidents where international aid significantly improved conditions would add depth to the essay.
coherence cohesion
The overall logical structure of the essay is sound, but each paragraph could benefit from clearer topic sentences and more explicit connections between points. Using linking words and phrases like 'Firstly,' 'Additionally,' and 'In conclusion' consistently can help guide the reader through your arguments more clearly.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction successfully outlines the issue and presents the stance of the writer, engaging the reader effectively.
complete response
The essay covers both perspectives and provides a balanced view, which is crucial for a well-rounded argument.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion reinforces the main points and reiterates the writer's stance very effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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