In some cultures, children are oftern told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Many people in different countries
said
to their kids they have to work hard to reach their goals. Wrong verb form
say
This
essay will explain pros
and cons of Correct article usage
the pros
this
statement.
On one hand, there are some advantages of talking with pupils about a real-life and how they can achieve their dreams. This
will help them to focus in
their studies rather than have fun with friends Change preposition
on
such
as playing games all the time instead
of doing their homework. Furthermore
, If individuals do not study hard, universities will not accepted
them, and they will grow without education. Change the verb form
accept
For example
, a
recent research found that when parents Remove the article
apply
be
honest with their kids and Wrong verb form
are
learned
them the right way to Verb problem
teach
get
their goals, Verb problem
achieve
this
made
them successful more than others.
Wrong verb form
makes
On the other hand
, the disadvantages of telling the children to do hard enough are increasing their stress levels , also
when they do not reach their aims this
will cause many problems like a
low self-esteem and Remove the article
apply
a
depression. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, after they had tried enough some individuals rejected
from college and Add a missing verb
are rejected
this
Correct pronoun usage
which
resulte
in Correct your spelling
resulted
results
the
low self-esteem and they will Correct article usage
apply
afraid
Add a missing verb
be afraid
from
take steps forward. Change preposition
to
For instance
, a new research paper found that the
stress levels Correct article usage
apply
was
increasing significantly in people who refused from universities.
In conclusion, children get the message about how Change the verb form
were
an
essential to work hard to have anything. there are some benefits like they will consider their educations and have a high rank in schools. Correct pronoun usage
it an
However
, there are drawbacks such
as their stress will rise and their confidence will decrease.Submitted by saja.alotaibi on
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coherence cohesion
Improve the essay's logical structure by organizing your ideas more clearly. Use paragraphs to separate different points and ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details.
task achievement
Incorporate more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar. Avoid run-on sentences and ensure each sentence is clear and grammatically correct.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the main points and restating your overall perspective more clearly.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, which shows a good understanding of the task.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively introduces the topic and the conclusion summarizes the main points, which improves the overall clarity of the essay.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?