In some cultures, children are oftern told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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Many people in different countries

said

Wrong verb form

say

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to their kids they have to work hard to reach their goals.

This

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essay will explain

pros

Correct article usage

the pros

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and cons of

this

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statement. On one hand, there are some advantages of talking with pupils about a real-life and how they can achieve their dreams.

This

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will help them to focus

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their studies rather than have fun with friends

such

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as playing games all the time

instead

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of doing their homework.

Furthermore

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, If individuals do not study hard, universities will not

accepted

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them, and they will grow without education.

For example

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Remove the article

apply

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recent research found that when parents

Wrong verb form

are

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honest with their kids and

learned

Verb problem

teach

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them the right way to

get

Verb problem

achieve

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their goals,

this

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made

Wrong verb form

makes

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them successful more than others.

On the other hand

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, the disadvantages of telling the children to do hard enough are increasing their stress levels ,

also

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when they do not reach their aims

this

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will cause many problems like

Remove the article

apply

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low self-esteem and

Correct article usage

apply

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depression.

Moreover

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, after they had tried enough some individuals

rejected

Add a missing verb

are rejected

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from college and

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this

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

resulte

Correct your spelling

resulted

results

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

low self-esteem and they will

afraid

Add a missing verb

be afraid

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from

Change preposition

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take steps forward.

For instance

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, a new research paper found that

the

Correct article usage

apply

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stress levels

was

Change the verb form

were

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increasing significantly in people who refused from universities. In conclusion, children get the message about how

Correct pronoun usage

it an

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essential to work hard to have anything. there are some benefits like they will consider their educations and have a high rank in schools.

However

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, there are drawbacks

such

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as their stress will rise and their confidence will decrease.

saja.alotaibiFri Jul 12 2024

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coherence cohesion

Improve the essay's logical structure by organizing your ideas more clearly. Use paragraphs to separate different points and ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details.

task achievement

Incorporate more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving sentence structure and grammar. Avoid run-on sentences and ensure each sentence is clear and grammatically correct.

coherence cohesion

Strengthen the conclusion by summarizing the main points and restating your overall perspective more clearly.

task achievement

The essay provides a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, which shows a good understanding of the task.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction effectively introduces the topic and the conclusion summarizes the main points, which improves the overall clarity of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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In some cultures, children are oftern told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Your opinion

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphone. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can be offered?

Some people say that that working at home is beneficial to the worker and the family while others believe that it is stressful to both the worker and the family. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work. Schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extend do you agree?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.