It is sad that life is becoming increasingly stressful for most people. What is the reason of this phenomenon and how could this problem be solved?
It is worrying that many
people
are experiencing a rise in mental instability due to
their living status. The primary causes are increased cost of living and lack of employment. To solve this
, the government should remove all the subsidiaries and create employment.
Firstly
, the skyrocketed prices of commodities has
led to most Change the verb form
have
people
unable
to afford basic needs. Add a missing verb
being unable
This
has really affected the parents who have kids relying for
them for Change the preposition
on
upon
provision
of education, quality health, clothing and clean water and food. Failure to meet these needs, makes the parents develop mental issues as shown Correct article usage
the provision
on
the survey done by the students Change preposition
in
in
Florida University that showed that 95% of Change preposition
at
people
rehabilitated due to
depression were parents or guardians. Additionally
, many community members and
mostly the youth attend Correct word choice
apply
the
higher learning courses with Correct article usage
apply
hope
of securing a job. Add an article
the hope
However
, after completion, there is a certain percentage that tarmac and contrary to their dreams, they do not get a vacant
to work. Replace the word
vacancy
This
makes their morale to
lower and Change preposition
apply
also
regret why they attended the classes as they receive pressure from both the
family members and Correct article usage
apply
the
society to go and look for Correct article usage
apply
any
work. Correct quantifier usage
apply
This
in turn raises their pressure and become
stressful.
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
Nonetheless
, to curb the rising level of stressful situation
the state should come up with ways to reduce the cost of products so as to be affordable to everyone. Fix the agreement mistake
situations
This
will have a significant impact especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
to
Change preposition
on
people
of low class. For instance
, the government of Zambia has removed all the subsidiary
in the major items like fuel and its byproducts so as to ensure Fix the agreement mistake
subsidiaries
people
purchace
items without too much pressure on their pockets. Correct your spelling
purchase
Further
, in order to create job
, the government should promote Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
self employment
by providing SMEs with loans at Add a hyphen
self-employment
a
lower Correct article usage
apply
interests
and Correct the article-noun agreement
interest
also
encourage the use of skills and talents to earn income. For example
, In UK
the use of social media Correct article usage
the UK
hurdle
Fix the agreement mistake
hurdles
such
as tiktok
is being promoted as it not only Correct your spelling
TikTok
help
Change the verb form
helps
people
to relieve stress but also
they receive bonus
that helps them in their Add an article
a bonus
the bonus
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
life
.
In conclusion, to improve mental health, jobs should be created and the cost of living lowered because most Fix the agreement mistake
lives
people
are affected by such
situations.Submitted by janenjeru6 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion present
Try to refine your introduction. Clearly state the problem and the proposed solutions in a more concise manner to provide a clear roadmap for the essay.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all sentences in the paragraph relate directly to this topic. This will enhance logical structure and clarity.
relevant specific examples
Provide more concrete and specific examples to support your points. Examples can help to illustrate and strengthen your arguments effectively.
complete response
You have addressed both the causes of increased stress and potential solutions, meeting the requirements of the task.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
supported main points
You have included some specific examples, like the survey from Florida University and the policies in Zambia and the UK, which help to support your points.