IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You live in a house opposite a park. Every day a man brings large dogs to the park and lets them run free. Write a letter to your local council complaining about the danger. In your letter say where the park is, say how often this happens give a description of the man a

#house #park #man #dogs #council #danger #description
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 letter to draw your attention to the national park located near the centre of the city.The problem
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the off-lease
dog
.It is commonly seen that a
man
 comes with the
dog
 every evening.
Although
 the
dog
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not
looks
Change the verb form
look
show examples
 fierce , it may be scary for small children to play
while
 dogs
walking
Wrong verb form
walk
show examples
 around them.I hope you will take strict action against
this
 situation.Here, I am going to give a brief description of
man
Correct article usage
a man
show examples
 and his
dog
.
This
man
 is 6 feet tall with a white skin complexion and comes with
23-inch
Correct article usage
a 23-inch
show examples
 larger boxer
dog
 at 4pm every day. Despite having restrictions on off-lease dogs in the park ,
this
man
feel
Change the verb form
feels
show examples
 free with his dogs. He not only allowed his
dog
 to run free
,
Add the word(s)
, but
show examples
also
 performed some stunts
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
.
This
 negligence can cause serious injuries
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 visitors.I hope you will confront
this
 issue soon. I am looking forward to your response. Yours Sincerely, Parm
Submitted by parminderbitti3 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to clearly separate different points into separate paragraphs for easier reading and better logical structure.
task achievement
Ensure that all sentences are complete and grammatically correct.
task achievement
Expand on your points more to provide a comprehensive response, especially when describing the frequency and the danger posed by the dogs.
task achievement
Good use of a formal tone appropriate for a letter to the local council.
coherence cohesion
Clear closing and greeting that fits the context of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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