In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country., while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and giye your opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that no one can live without money and everyone works hard to get it.
While
it is a commonly held belief that a few people enter extremely high
salaries
and, it is good for a country . There is
also
an argument that others believe that the
government
should control
salaries
and limit the amount people can earn.
This
essay
wil
Correct your spelling
will
analyze
this
topic from both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
of view and express my opinion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, no harm
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
salary.
In other words
, if a few people are given big
salaries
,it would not harm the other
employees
, they worked hard to get it and they
deserves
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deserve
show examples
it.
In addition
,
usually
Add a comma
usually,
show examples
the employee has a big family.
For example
, the
employees
who
gets
Change the verb form
get
show examples
a high
Correct the article-noun agreement
a high salary
high salaries
show examples
salaries
have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
big
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
, and that can
lead to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
benefit the
government
by taking the kids to
Add an article
the amusing
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amusing
Replace the word
amusement
show examples
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
can increase the
government
Change noun form
government's
show examples
income .
On the other hand
, limiting the
salaries
and,
control
Wrong verb form
controlling
show examples
it. It is
also
possible to say that limiting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
salaries
can help the
government
to
remain
Verb problem
maintain
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
income and to be prepared
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
anything.
Moreover
, the difference between
employees
may lead to hate.
For instance
, if there was
difference
Add an article
the difference
a difference
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
salaries
it may cause problems and hate among the
employees
. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
question.on balance,
however
, I tend to believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
justice to give the
employees
the
salaries
they
deserves
Change the verb form
deserve
show examples
not more not less.
Submitted by alaa5942005 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction clearly presents the two different viewpoints without ambiguity.
task achievement
Work on the clarity and grammatical accuracy of your sentences. For example, "enter extremely high salaries" should be "earn extremely high salaries."
task achievement
Use specific and relevant examples to support your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your transitions between ideas to improve the overall flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay discusses both viewpoints as required by the task.
coherence cohesion
You have included a conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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