IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

You are going to holiday abroad on holiday and your friend will stay in your home while you are away. Explain where you hide the keys. describe what your friend needs to do in your absence. say when you are coming back

#holiday #friend #home #keys #absence
Dear Tim, I can'
t
 thank you enough for keeping my place warm for when
I'd
Verb problem
I'll
show examples
 be in Tokyo
this
 coming week, but I'm still spilling some ink on
this
 boring letter to show a bit of gratitude. As my home recently got renovated, you wouldn'
t
 be finding the keys as usual under the carpet. It now rests lazily
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the porch under a rock painted with your
good'ol
Correct your spelling
good
 signature.
Well
Add the punctuation
Well,
show examples
 that's one way to depict how much you owe to
this
 place. So just grab those keys
this
 weekend and barge yourself up into my ugly mansion. I have stocked enough food for you in the fridge, but don'
t
 forget to feed our furry best friend Tom. He starts growling when I don'
t
 rub his belly, so you might've to take that duty as well.
While
 there aren'
t
 any bills to pay in my absence, you still need to recharge the internet. I've some bills tucked in the first drawer under the TV unit. Enjoy the stay, keep yourself warm, and don'
t
 trouble the neighbours as I don'
t
 want any noise complaints after my return on the 19th. I'll stay in Tokyo for a week, click pictures to make you feel jealous and post
'em
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 online as well. My house is all yours for a week, please take care of Tom and I'll spare you
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
any mess that you
would
Verb problem
apply
show examples
make. Cheers to my trip, I'll be missing you
Tim
Add the comma(s)
, Tim
show examples
! Best wishes, David.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The structure of the letter is fairly logical, but adding headings or segments can improve readability. Consider organizing information about the keys, instructions, and return date into separate paragraphs more distinctly.
task achievement
Ensure all relevant information is covered thoroughly. You can elaborate more on what needs to be done in your absence. For instance, you could list out the daily routine for Tom in more detail or any other tasks your friend might need to handle.
task achievement
Some sentences are informal, which is fitting for a letter to a friend, but ensure all sentences are clear and free of any ambiguous language. Avoid using slang phrases that may confuse the reader. Aim for a balance between friendly tone and clarity.
task achievement
The letter maintains a friendly and warm tone, which suits the context of writing to a friend.
task achievement
The main points such as where the keys are hidden, what needs to be done, and the return date are all covered comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion provide a good context and wrap up the letter effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: