Buying things on the internet such as book, air ticket and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages.

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These days, many people prefer to live in rented accommodations rather than own their own homes.
While
renting offers benefits
such
as flexibility and no maintenance responsibilities, it
also
has significant drawbacks, including the inability to build equity and the potential for increasing rental payments over time. On the one hand, there are two primary benefits to renting a house. First of all, you might be mobility-ready for changes,
such
as moving to another place, when it comes to your career or your lifestyle.
While
you needed to live in another place, you didn't need to worry about giving up your home because it belonged to someone else.
Furthermore
, when the homeowner takes full accountability, you are relieved of any maintenance costs or repair expenses.
On the other hand
,
while
admitting the
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
effects, I contend that it is crucial to consider two minor disadvantages. One minor drawback is that you will not be building equity through
remodeling
Change the spelling
remodelling
show examples
or upgrades, as the space is meant for living rather than making any personal changes.
Besides
that, the rising costs of energy and gas can lead to higher utility bills, which may affect your rent. The only way to address
this
problem could be to move. In conclusion, renting provides flexibility and no maintenance costs, but it
also
has drawbacks like no equity building and potential rent increases. Ultimately, individuals should assess their personal preferences when choosing a house to rent.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of renting accommodation, indicating a complete response to the prompt. However, to strengthen your argument, include more specific examples to substantiate your points, such as mentioning countries or cities where renting is particularly advantageous or disadvantageous.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured, some sentences could be better connected to improve the flow. Consider using more transition words and phrases to make the progression of ideas clearer.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, your main points need to be more thoroughly supported. Try to elaborate on how the inability to build equity impacts long-term financial stability, or how rising rental costs have affected people in real situations.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view, which is essential for a high score.
coherence cohesion
The language used is appropriate for an academic essay, and there are no major grammatical errors, which contributes positively to its readability.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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