Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
On
today's world, the internet and social Change preposition
In
media
are commonly used in our daily lives. We use it to communicate with families and friends,
and get news events. There are some advantages and disadvantages regarding Remove the comma
apply
this
situations
. I will discuss Fix the agreement mistake
situation
about
both points of view in Remove the preposition
apply
this
essay.
There are lots of benefits about
social Change preposition
to
media
. Firstly
, social media
make
us keep in touch with friends around the world. Verb problem
helps
For example
, I visited to
AustraliaRemove the preposition
apply
,
and met some friends from Japan, China, and Indonesia, we still had Remove the comma
apply
contacted
and helped one another. It is beautiful to be Replace the word
contact
friend
with Fix the agreement mistake
friends
people
all
Change preposition
from all
the
world. Change preposition
over the
Furthermore
, it may have advantages about following the recent news. For instance
, there was crime
Add an article
a crime
the crime
that
kid was shooting Correct determiner usage
a
people
at Paragon in Thailand, I could check it from social media
such
as twitter
. Capitalize word
Twitter
Lastly
, we can keep some photos and videos in social applications, the beautiful memories can support us.
On the other hand
, using social media
everyday
can cause both physical and mental health problems. Nowadays , we use Replace the word
every day
internet
Add an article
the internet
by
cellphones and laptops, Change preposition
via
it
may cause some neck pain or back pain because we have to bend Correct pronoun usage
which
some
Change the word
our
neck
to watch it. Dry eyes Fix the agreement mistake
necks
also
commonly happen to people
using that devices
. For mental illness, it may happen because we take lots of information about othersChange the determiner
that device
those devices
,
so that some Remove the comma
apply
people
maybe develop depression and bipolar disorder.
In conclusion, there are advantages outweigh disadvantages
if we can control the amount of time and Correct article usage
the disadvantages
medias'exposure
. If we use it wrong, it may affect our Correct your spelling
media exposure
healths
.Fix the agreement mistake
health
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grammar
Improve grammatical accuracy to make the essay easier to read and understand. For example, phrases like 'in today's world' and 'I will discuss both points of view' could be more clearly phrased.
examples
Provide more specific examples to support each point. This would strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea. For example, the advantages and disadvantages could be more distinctly separated and elaborated upon.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps guide the reader.
examples
The use of personal examples, such as your experience in Australia, adds a personal touch to the essay and makes it more engaging.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.