IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shoppings centres or malls to do their shoping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

#years #shops #customers #travel #shoppings #centres #malls #development
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These days,
consumer's
Change noun form
consumer
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 behaviour has been changing
brastically
Correct your spelling
drastically
 more than ever before. Not very long ago, shopping
malls
 are dominated
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the small-scale sectors
due to
 a lack of customer flow. I think
this
 is a positive improvement because it reduces people's time and
effort
.
This
 essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.
To begin
 with, many local
shops
 are closed by large shopping
malls
 because mankind
prefer
Change the verb form
prefers
show examples
 to purchase in
malls
. Because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
malts have
wide
Correct article usage
a wide
show examples
varities
Correct your spelling
variety
 of products, and all brand items
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
 available in
one
 place,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it can reduce people's time for
going
Verb problem
apply
show examples
all small
shops
 to purchase.
For example
,
one
 of the
famay
Correct your spelling
famous
 and large shopping
malls
 in India, "Big Bazaar" has all
countrie's
Correct your spelling
country's
 products
along with
 brands too;
additionally
, they Provide ample parking facilities, so individuals can travel to
malls
 and park their vehicles under
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one
 umbrella. Needless to
Say
Fix capitalization
say
show examples
, shopping
malls
 attract
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the population
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a lot of amenities, that's why
humankinds
Correct your spelling
humankind
 visits there.
Instead
 of the local vendors.
Furthermore
,
this
 reduces consumer's
effort
 to buy things in
one
 place, which is shopping
malls
.
That is
, many hubs are contained in
one
 place, so people do not
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 their
effort
 to buy things in different places,
in addition
, they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not only
sales
Replace the word
sell
show examples
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
 of goods but
also
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 entertainment facilities.
For instance
, every floor
har
Correct your spelling
has
show examples
 different kinds of
shops
 in all
super markets
Correct your spelling
supermarkets
show examples
 namely food court,
theature
Correct your spelling
theatre
, cosmetics, furniture, Jewellery, and cloth, and
as a result
, humans do not waste their
effort
 to go small-scale
shops
.
In other words
, numerous consumers choose to so only malle rather than the local
shops
 because of the
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
show examples
. In conclusion, growing
super
Correct your spelling
supermalls
show examples
malls
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to close the small-scale
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping
complex
Fix the agreement mistake
complexes
show examples
 reduces
customer's
Change noun form
customers'
show examples
 time
coupled with
effort
.
Therefore
, I think
this
 is a positive breakthrough and it brings more benefits to society.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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task achievement
Make sure to include a clear and engaging introduction that outlines your main points more distinctly.
task achievement
Be mindful of grammatical errors (e.g., sp. "drastically" instead of "brastically", "consumers" instead of "consumer's", "shopping" instead of "shoping") and punctuation to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Try to provide more elaboration and depth in your arguments to create a more compelling essay, while ensuring logical structure and clear linkage between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and connection to the overall topic. Transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to improve the flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents a position on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Main arguments are aligned with the topic and the position taken, showing coherence when exploring the idea that shopping malls benefit consumers by saving time and effort.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively ties the essay together, reaffirming the positive impact of shopping malls on society.
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