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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentages #meals #three #nutrients #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The charts illustrate the average
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
sodium
Use synonyms
, saturated fats and added sugars, which might be unhealthy for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks in the USA.
Overall
Linking Words
,
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat are consumed the most at dinner.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the meal which contains the biggest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
sugar
Use synonyms
 is the snack. In breakfast, saturated fat and added
sugar
Use synonyms
 have the same concentration (16%),
while
Linking Words
sodium
Use synonyms
 has a lower
percentage
Use synonyms
 which is 14%. Meanwhile, during lunch, US citizens consume around 29%
sodium
Use synonyms
, 26% saturated fat and 16% added
sugar
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, dinner is the meal which contains the highest amount of nutrients, 43%
sodium
Use synonyms
, 37% saturated fat and 23% added carbohydrate.
Finally
Linking Words
, in the snacks added
sugar
Use synonyms
 has the giant
percentage
Use synonyms
 representing 42%,
while
Linking Words
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat have 14% and 21% respectively. In conclusion, it can be summarised that all groups of nutrients have variances in quantity in all meals served in the USA.
Submitted by capibara11 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, sodium, sugar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrients
  • unhealthy
  • typical meals
  • percentages
  • saturated fats
  • fibers
  • sugars
  • impact
  • average
  • consumption
  • trends
  • breakfast
  • lunch
  • dinner
  • highest
  • lowest
  • variation
  • implications
  • balanced diet
  • recommendations
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