The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie chart shows the online
sales
retail sectors in New Zealand between 2003 and 2013.
Overall
the chart compares four parts, namely clothes, travel, books and film and music. Travel was so higher percentage than other tips in 2003 but the film and music sectors were visited in 2013. The major online
sales
in the year 2003 were travel sector-related products and services accounting pp for 36% . But in 2013 , it dropped to 29% and total online
sales
in 2003. The second ruling sector was clothes with 24%
overall
sales
. But that was dropped and reached to 16%
overall
. Film and music engaged 21% of the
overall
sales
in 2003,
while
it increased to 33% which attained the topmost position in 2013. In 2013 , the percentage of online
sales
for books was 22% .
However
, it was a little bit lower for ten years which accounted for 19% .
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Comparative analysis
  • E-commerce
  • Retail sectors
  • Growth rate
  • Decade
  • Decline
  • Trends
  • Online transactions
  • Consumer behavior
  • Market share
  • Significant increase/decrease
  • Digital era
  • Accessibility
  • User-friendly platform
  • Market dynamics
  • Predictive outlook
What to do next:
Look at other essays: