Some children spend hours every day оп their smartphones. Why is this the case? Оо уои think this is а positive or а negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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Cell phones are taking more and more life from

kids

Use synonyms

daily ,it is

due to

Linking Words

busy parents in the recent fast era of living ,I think It should be seen as

harm

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harmful

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for the child as it is giving the child

moreof

Correct your spelling

more of

a receiver than active behaviour.

To begin

Linking Words

with, we are witnessing the changing of lifestyle and how it has become a really rushed way of living that we do not even have time to be with our

kids

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,most of the parents are at work leaving

kids

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home alone or with a babysitter, leading

kids

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to waste their time on the phone ,neglecting

Linking Words

this phenomena

Change the determiner

this phenomenon

these phenomena

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is seen in most of the houses ,to explain more; exposure to smartphones makes

kids

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more addictive because

that is

Linking Words

how nowadays networks is designed which will lead to more hours spent on the phone .

Moreover

Linking Words

, I think it is a dangerous thing to leave

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

kid to be exposed all

this

Linking Words

amount of time on the phone as it will affect their personality that it is not even theirs anymore ,

for example

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, if a kid is experiencing life on his own without any outer source he will have his dependent acts ,

while

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if a kid is getting all information about life from a cellphone his character will be built from social media influencers and will not have his own.

To sum up

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, I think children's exposure to phones should be minimized as much as possible by parents paying more attention to their

kids

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Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that

kids

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will not be independent and rely on their phones.

Submitted by tasneematrash3001 on Sat Jul 13 2024

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task achievement

Develop your ideas more clearly. For instance, provide specific examples of how busy parents influence children's dependence on smartphones.

coherence cohesion

Work on organizing your essay with clear paragraphs that each contain a single main idea and supporting details.

coherence cohesion

Revise grammar and sentence structures for clarity. Use a variety of sentence types to maintain interest and convey your points more effectively.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps guide the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day оп their smartphones. Why is this the case? Оо уои think this is а positive or а negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Wild animals have no use in the 21 century and trying to preserve animals now is just wastage of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree with question

To many countries, people decide to have a child at a later age. Why is this? Do the advantages of this devlopment outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The best way to reduce emissions from vehicles is to impose a higer tax on vehicles which use a lot of fuel and lower tax on those that don't. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The increasing availability of low-cost airlines now lets people travel around the world. Some feel this is a positive development while others think it is negative overall.