IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#students #gap #year #university #travel #gain #work
Do you think that
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 a
gap
 before starting
university
 is a good thing?
Gap
Correct article usage
A gap
show examples
year
 means taking
break
Add an article
a break
show examples
 from school before start studying at the
university
. In
this
 essay, I will talk about the
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
 of
take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
 a
gap
year
 before
university
 starts.
Firstly
,
university
 is a new step of your life and
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 a big experience because it is way more different than school.
More over
Correct your spelling
Moreover
show examples
, after finishing school we maybe get a little tired that's why we take a
gap
year
.
Secondly
, we can have fun in the
gap
year
 by doing many things
such
 as we can travel with our
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
.
Traveling
Change the spelling
Travelling
show examples
 with your friend is a good experience and you can have a lot of fun.
Also
, you can try a new experience
such
 as
try
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
 to learn
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 Language or
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 hobby. I would prefer to have
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 hobby because it is a great thing and it may let you
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
have new
freind
Correct your spelling
friends
friend
 that they have the same hobby that you learned.
On the other hand
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 some people
don't
Correct pronoun usage
who don't
show examples
 want to have a
gap
year
 because
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 have their own
reason's
Change noun form
reasons
show examples
.
Such
 as
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 don't want to be late
1
Change preposition
for 1
show examples
year
 of
university
.
Also
 maybe
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 are not tired enough to take a
gap
year
.
Secondly
, in my opinion, I would not take a
gap
year
 because I see it
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of time. In conclusion,
university
 is not an easy thing so if you are not ready you can take a
gap
year
.
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
 I believe that taking a whole
year
 to just have fun is not a good thing.
Submitted by aa.alshallal7 on

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task achievement
Add more specific examples to strengthen your main points. For instance, you could mention a personal anecdote or a success story of someone who took a gap year.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to use connectors and transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument. This will improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
The essay outlines both sides of the argument effectively, mentioning the benefits and potential drawbacks of taking a gap year.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a framework for the essay, which helps in preparing the reader for the content discussed.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • immersive experience
  • perspectives
  • empathy
  • societal norms
  • practical understanding
  • motivation
  • networking
  • recharge
  • dedication
  • forge meaningful relationships
  • financial independence
  • emotional well-being
  • self-confidence
  • adaptability
  • open-minded
  • mentorships
  • motivated
  • prepared
  • volunteering
  • internships
What to do next:
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