IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Mordern building change the character and appearance of towns and cities. The government should insist that new buildings be built in traditional styles to protect cultural identity. To what extent do u agree or disagree?

#mordern #change #character #appearance #towns #cities #government #buildings #styles #identity
Government
Correct article usage
The government
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 should prohibit modern
buildings
 to preserve
tradition
Correct article usage
the tradition
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 and cultural identity of towns and cities. I believe modern
buildings
are build
Change the verb form
are built
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due to
likes
Correct article usage
the likes
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 of people and it is more
stronger
Replace the word
strongly
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 built for the better of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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. I strongly
dis
Verb problem
apply
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agree
to
Change preposition
with
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 avoiding
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
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 of modern
buildings
 as people are creative
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
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 and they prefer
a
Correct article usage
apply
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modern and high technologies inside and
otside
Correct your spelling
outside
 of their
buildings
. like electric stoves, dish machines and freezers are all
advance
Replace the word
advanced
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 technology and outside have automated
garrage
Correct your spelling
garage
 gate that can open and close with remote control for easy access.
Secondly
Add a comma
Secondly,
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 structures are made tougher to
last
 longer by using good materials like metal, cement and
water proof
Correct your spelling
waterproof
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 paints.
comparing
Wrong verb form
Compared
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from
Change preposition
to
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 the past
that
Correct word choice
apply
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good materials and there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not that
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
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 brighter ideas.
therefore
 modern
buildings
 should be built in
modern
Correct article usage
a modern
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 style. Modern
buildings
also
is
Change the verb form
are
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more
Change the word
apply
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safer structures compared to traditional
buildings
. Engineers and
architechtures
Correct your spelling
architectures
architecture
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
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 are more
advance
Replace the word
advanced
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 using high technologies and modern machines and
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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. I conclude that modern
buildings
 should be allowed for the better and safer of human raises.
Submitted by w.tedler on

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task achievement
Your essay should include a clearer and more explicit thesis statement in the introduction to set the tone for your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that you transition smoothly between paragraphs to improve logical structure.
task achievement
Expand on your examples and provide more specific details to support your points better. This will strengthen your arguments and make your ideas clearer.
task achievement
Your essay acknowledges both the cultural significance of traditional buildings and the benefits of modern buildings, demonstrating an understanding of the topic from multiple angles.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your position and reinforces your main points, providing a clear closure to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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