TOPIC – Nowadays, more and more people are moving from the countryside to cities, which are becoming overcrowded. What are the reasons for this movement to cities and what can be done to reduce it?
Now, more and more
people
are moving from a
Correct article usage
the
countryside
to cities
. As a result
, the cities
become overcrowded. In my opinion, there are several reasons why this
can be happen
, Change the verb form
happen
such
as lack of access
to public transport. Also
, I will elaborate the
solutions below.
Sometimes it is common to certain countries that have different development between the Change preposition
on the
countryside
and the cities
. By that, people
decide to move to places which can guarantee a better life. In their new places, they can easier
get public Replace the word
easily
transportations
, Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
access
to
educational institutions, Change preposition
apply
have
Correct word choice
and have
a
better Correct article usage
apply
job
. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
For example
, people
who are running business
online and living in Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
countryside
have to pay high Add an article
the countryside
cost
to distribute their products. But, when they are moving to Fix the agreement mistake
costs
cities
, the cost will lower
. Not only that, but Add a missing verb
be lower
also
the way they reach their customers will more easy
because they live in Replace the word
easier
cities
.
Another reasons are the choices to have a good career in countryside
Add an article
the countryside
is
not many. Correct subject-verb agreement
are
People
have a
Remove the article
apply
limit
Replace the word
limited
access
to get a job. Meanwhile, in cities
, people
can be anything they want to. In addition
, the students can have a good quality of education by learning in cities
. For instance
, for
those who learn in Change preposition
apply
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
maybe
get hardships by Correct your spelling
may
did
not Verb problem
apply
get
a signal in their area. Wrong verb form
getting
However
, the
problem like Correct article usage
a
this
will not be found in cities
.
Overcrowded may be a problem and certainly there are solutions of
it. Change preposition
to
First,
the role of the government
is important here. The government
must have like
Change preposition
apply
public
policy to manage it, Add an article
the public
a public
such
as relocate
the Wrong verb form
relocating
people
or solve
the problems in Wrong verb form
solving
countryside
. What I mean by Add an article
the countryside
this
is because
overcrowded Correct word choice
that
is
causes Unnecessary verb
apply
of
more and more Change preposition
apply
people
come
to Fix the infinitive
to come
cities
, so there is
must problems in the Correct subject-verb agreement
are
countryside
. The government
can try to enhance public facilities, give access
to electricity and sanitation to anyone, and build public schools as many as possible.
To sum up
, the problems like education, public transportations
, occupations, etc are the main reasons why Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
cities
are overcrowded. So as to
, the Change preposition
apply
government
as the stakeholders must tackle these struggles by making policy
.Fix the agreement mistake
policies
Submitted by wishmeluck on
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Grammar
Try to avoid small grammatical errors like "this can be happen". It should be "this can happen".
Support for Main Points
Ensure that all your main points are consistently supported with relevant specific examples. For instance, you mentioned the issue of signal strength, but the example could be elaborated more specifically.
Vocabulary and Sentence Structure
Work on using more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the readability and sophistication of your writing.
Task Response
You have successfully addressed the main points required to respond to the task, including both reasons for the movement to cities and potential solutions.
Structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that summarizes your main points.
Use of Connectors
You have used connectors such as "For example," "Not only that, but also," and "However," which help in maintaining coherence and guiding the reader through your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?