Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, some individuals are of the view that
information
should be shared more and more in scientific research,
Correct word choice
and, academic
academic
world Correct article usage
the academic
while
others believe that, because of its vitality and value, one cannot just dish out information
just like that. This
essay will discuss both views and in my opinion, I think that indeed information
is too important and valuable to be shared for free.
On the one hand, it should be noted that not every information
is necessary to be share
with everybody. Wrong verb form
shared
Further
, information
that benefits everyone may be shared to
all. Change preposition
with
For example
, in China, there was a serious sickness that had been spreading because of inhaling a particular plant. It was causing people
to have serious headaches and collapse. A certain scientist discovered the solution and published the information
. It really assisted and was beneficial to all people
in the land. Thus
, it should be noted that some information
should be shared so as to save other people
's lives.
On the other hand
, not every data should be just generally shared. Some information
is to
important and of great value to be freely shared. Replace the word
too
For instance
, personal details about our leaders or notable people
in the society, like actors, singers or popular people
. Furthermore
, some people
love privacy, so if their information
is open to the public, that is
invasion
of privacy and it may disturb one's image.
In conclusion, Add an article
an invasion
the invasion
although
it is believed that sharing much information
in scientific research, business and academic
world is perceived to be good, Correct article usage
the academic
conversely
, it should be noted that some information
is valuable and too vital to be displayed for
the public. In my opinion, I think indeed some Change preposition
to
information
is too valuable and vital to be just open to the whole world.Submitted by pncubeterera on
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general
Try to avoid repetitive phrases such as 'not every information.' Consistency and precision in language use can enhance readability and clarity.
task achievement
Develop your main points further and provide additional specific examples or case studies to support your arguments. This would strengthen your essay's task response and provide a more comprehensive analysis of both views.
coherence cohesion
Enhance paragraph transitions to improve the overall flow of the essay. Using linking words or phrases can help the reader follow your argument more easily.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure for your argument.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both views and provides your personal opinion, fulfilling the task requirements.
examples
The examples provided in your essay were relevant, helping to illustrate your points effectively.
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