Some people believe that young people bring more profit to the company. Others says that older people actually bring more profits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, companies hire people who can bring profit to the table. Some people believe
this
can be achieved by hiring young minds, whereas
others believe hiring older individuals holds the key. I believe there are positives to both
age groups, thus
in this
essay, I will discuss the value of both
.
On the one hand, there is a general consensus that young people have a different energy about them. They are ambitious, have fresh ideas and enjoy taking risks. For example
, Asia's richest family, the Ambani's, all work together in their company
called Reliance. When a youthful Isha was asked to give her input, she decided to use current affairs to expand her father's network by purchasing clothing brands that were already heavily endorsed on social media. One such
brand was called Edamama was started by Bollywood superstar Alia Bhatt and had already amassed loyal customers. This
move added millions to their pockets. Moreover
, if she hadn't taken this
leap and instead
stuck to the traditional form of business, their company
would have made less of a profit.
On the other hand
, the correlation between age and wisdom is undeniable. Experience can only be earned with time, which then
translates into wisdom and patience. For instance
, Mukesh Ambani, the patriarch of the Reliance company
, held old-time values. His belief in providing affordable mobile packages paid off in the long run, as the other phone networks were phased out due to
public preference, making Reliance the number one phone network in India. His patience over the course of a decade gave rise to the biggest turnover seen in India. Furthermore
, without his expertise, the family would not have made billions and become the richest family in Asia.
In conclusion, both
young ambition and old wisdom are required to bring profit into a company
and thus
there is a place for both
. I believe both
age groups can work together and learn from each other to increase profits and therefore
are essential to the company
.Submitted by patelmeera on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using more transitional words and phrases to further link your ideas smoothly between paragraphs and within them.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all your main points are evenly developed and elaborated. For example, the paragraph discussing young people could benefit from a bit more depth.
task achievement
While the examples used are strong, incorporating more varied examples from different contexts or industries could add more layers to your argument.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which helps fulfill the task requirements comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, contributing to the overall cohesion of the essay.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples, such as those related to the Ambani family, are well integrated into the discussion, supporting the main arguments effectively.
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