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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph below shows the popular milk tea flavors sold in Cambodia over 8 years since 2002.

the graph below shows the popular milk tea flavors sold in Cambodia over 8 years since 2002.
The given line graph illustrates the sale of four different Cambodian
milk
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tea
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flavors
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flavours
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 over the eight years starting from 2002 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that chocolate and tropical
milk
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tea
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sales
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 increased,
whereas
Linking Words
 berry
along with
Linking Words
 candy
flaver
Correct your spelling
flavour
 had a decrease throughout the time frame.
In addition
Linking Words
, despite being the most sold for a majority of the period, candy
milk
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tea
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Use synonyms
flavor
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flavour
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 was later replaced by tropical by the
last
Linking Words
 year. Taking a look at the two types of
milk
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tea
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 which saw an upward trend in
sales
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, both chocolate and tropical
flavors
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flavours
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 started at exactly 10% and just under 5%, respectively. As for tropical
sales
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,
although
Linking Words
 it was the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
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comparing
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compared
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 to
other
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others
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initially
Linking Words
, a substantial growth to 46% was seen by the end. Meanwhile, there was a steadiness in the sale of chocolate
Use synonyms
flavor
Change the spelling
flavour
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 before considerably to a quarter of the surveyed
sales
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 in 20.10. With
regards
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regard
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 to the two
milk
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tea
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flavors
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flavours
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 that experienced a downward trend in
sales
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. In terms of candy
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flavor
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flavour
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, starting at 2 a high
sales
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 (approximately 66%) and
then
Linking Words
 it fluctuated between 60% and 64% for the next 6-year period before falling dramatically by the end to only 25% of
sales
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.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, 80% of berry
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flavor
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flavour
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 was sold in 2002;
however
Linking Words
, it had a sharp rise and reached a peak at over a third in 2006
then
Linking Words
, soonly dropping significantly until 2010, accounting for more than 10% of berry
milk
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tea
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 being sold.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words milk, tea, sales, flavor with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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