Buying tickets on the internet such as books, air tickets, and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this outweigh the disadvantage
Purchasing
tickets
by
online like books, air Change preposition
apply
tickets
, and groceries is gaining more popularity. I think this
thing will give many benefits to people
.
By online buying, people
do not have to go to offline store
. They can just as simply Fix the agreement mistake
stores
as
use their phone to buy anything they want or need. Not only thatChange preposition
apply
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
people
can check the price on the internet
and give benefits for people
to decide whether they will purchase the products or services or not. Based on my experience, sometimes the products which selling
online are cheaper than Wrong verb form
that are sold
buy it
directly at Verb problem
those bought
store
. Add an article
the store
For example
, the
girls tend to buy make-up or skincare by online because they have much time to think (there are no Correct article usage
apply
staffs
who will rush them when Fix the agreement mistake
staff
choose
a product) and obviously the price Change the verb form
choosing
also
different. It is common Add a missing verb
is also
if
Correct word choice
for
people
buy
it online, Fix the infinitive
to buy
there
will be many promos and discounts.
Correct word choice
and there
Furthermore
, pay
and Wrong verb form
paying
return
by online systems is Wrong verb form
returning
more easy
than Replace the words
easier
you buy
it offline. Wrong verb form
buying
Moreover
, usually
Add a comma
usually,
people
have their own business and do not have enough time to do grocery shopping. By doing online shopping, it will save your
money and time. Buying online Correct pronoun usage
you
tickets
also
will prevent people
from the fear of sold out
Add a hyphen
sold-out
tickets
because they can get the tickets
in a simple way. For instance
, if people
want to watch movies in cinema
, they can see the schedule, price, list the films, etc on the Correct article usage
a cinema
internet
. So, it is much easier and Capitalize word
Internet
feel
more comfortable.
Notwithstanding all of the advantages, Change the verb form
feels
this
thing might have some troubles. People
who are not familiar may confused how
to buy online Change preposition
about how
tickets
. Besides
, there are a lot of online frauds. Because of that, people
choose to buy the
things offline. The signal of the Correct article usage
apply
internet
and not all of
Change preposition
apply
people
Add an article
the people
have
Wrong verb form
having
handphone
Fix the agreement mistake
handphones
also
can be the
problems. But, as long as Correct article usage
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
understand how to use internet
and Correct article usage
the internet
wise
when making Add a missing verb
are wise
transaction
, I think there will be no problem.
To summarise, the advantages Fix the agreement mistake
transactions
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
outweight
the disadvantages. Convenience and security become the Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighed
consideration
why buying online Fix the agreement mistake
considerations
tickets
more
and more popular.Add a missing verb
is more
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introduction conclusion present
Work on making your introduction and conclusion more robust. The opening sentence could be more engaging, and the conclusion could provide a stronger summary of your main points.
logical structure
Try to enhance the logical flow between your points. Use more cohesive devices to ensure a smooth transition from one idea to another.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop your ideas more fully. Some points feel a bit underdeveloped and could be elaborated further to strengthen your argument.
relevant specific examples
You've used relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument greatly.
complete response
Your essay touches on multiple aspects of the topic, providing a balanced view of both advantages and disadvantages.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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