Buying tickets on the internet such as books, air tickets, and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this outweigh the disadvantage

#tickets #internet #books #air #groceries #outweigh

Purchasing

tickets

Change preposition

apply

show examples

online like books, air

tickets

, and groceries is gaining more popularity. I think

this

thing will give many benefits to

people

. By online buying,

people

do not have to go to offline

store

Fix the agreement mistake

stores

show examples

. They can just as simply

Change preposition

apply

show examples

use their phone to buy anything they want or need. Not only that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

people

can check the price on the

internet

and give benefits for

people

to decide whether they will purchase the products or services or not. Based on my experience, sometimes the products

which selling

Wrong verb form

that are sold

show examples

online are cheaper than

buy it

Verb problem

those bought

show examples

directly at

store

Add an article

the store

show examples

For example

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

girls tend to buy make-up or skincare by online because they have much time to think (there are no

staffs

Fix the agreement mistake

staff

show examples

who will rush them when

choose

Change the verb form

choosing

show examples

a product) and obviously the price

also

Add a missing verb

is also

show examples

different. It is common

Correct word choice

for

show examples

people

buy

Fix the infinitive

to buy

show examples

it online,

there

Correct word choice

and there

show examples

will be many promos and discounts.

Furthermore

pay

Wrong verb form

paying

show examples

and

return

Wrong verb form

returning

show examples

by online systems is

more easy

Replace the words

easier

show examples

than

you buy

Wrong verb form

buying

show examples

it offline.

Moreover

usually

Add a comma

usually,

show examples

people

have their own business and do not have enough time to do grocery shopping. By doing online shopping, it will save

your

Correct pronoun usage

you

show examples

money and time. Buying online

tickets

also

will prevent

people

from the fear of

sold out

Add a hyphen

sold-out

show examples

tickets

because they can get the

tickets

in a simple way.

For instance

, if

people

want to watch movies in

cinema

Correct article usage

a cinema

show examples

, they can see the schedule, price, list the films, etc on the

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

. So, it is much easier and

feel

Change the verb form

feels

show examples

more comfortable. Notwithstanding all of the advantages,

this

thing might have some troubles.

People

who are not familiar may confused

how

Change preposition

about how

show examples

to buy online

tickets

Besides

, there are a lot of online frauds. Because of that,

people

choose to buy

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

things offline. The signal of the

internet

and not all

Change preposition

apply

show examples

people

Add an article

the people

show examples

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

handphone

Fix the agreement mistake

handphones

show examples

also

can be

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

problems. But, as long as

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

understand how to use

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

and

wise

Add a missing verb

are wise

show examples

when making

transaction

Fix the agreement mistake

transactions

show examples

, I think there will be no problem. To summarise, the advantages

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

outweight

Correct your spelling

outweigh

outweighed

the disadvantages. Convenience and security become the

consideration

Fix the agreement mistake

considerations

show examples

why buying online

tickets

Add a missing verb

is more

show examples

and more popular.

Submitted by wishmeluck on Sun Jul 14 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Work on making your introduction and conclusion more robust. The opening sentence could be more engaging, and the conclusion could provide a stronger summary of your main points.

logical structure

Try to enhance the logical flow between your points. Use more cohesive devices to ensure a smooth transition from one idea to another.

clear comprehensive ideas

Develop your ideas more fully. Some points feel a bit underdeveloped and could be elaborated further to strengthen your argument.

relevant specific examples

You've used relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument greatly.

complete response

Your essay touches on multiple aspects of the topic, providing a balanced view of both advantages and disadvantages.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

354 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

E-commerce
Convenience
Wide variety
Customer reviews
Ratings
Carbon footprint
Environmentally friendly
Exclusive discounts
Promotional offers
Loyalty programs
Security risks
Identity theft
Fraud
Delivery issues
Physical inspection
Stable internet connection

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Buying tickets on the internet such as books, air tickets, and groceries is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this outweigh the disadvantage

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Title :Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some education systems make students focus on certain subjects at the age of 15, whileothers require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. What are the benefits of each system? Which is better?

Some people think that tourists should follow the traditional customs of the host country. Do you agree or disagree?

In your opinion how can government of each country eradicate or lessen the crimes committed by their own people use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?