Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages.
Nowadays, there are significant numbers of
museums
that charge the
visitors entry fees, Correct article usage
apply
while
others require no payment. Whether or not this
is beneficial to society is a moot point. However
, this
essay disagrees that making people
pay for visiting
Change preposition
to visit
museums
is more advantageous than free admission because the charges might be too pricey for some museums
, and the world will eventually lose their interest in art and history
.
One primary disadvantage of this
issue is the exorbitant entry charges into museums
, especially those housing renowned and
historical pieces. Many Correct word choice
apply
people
have deep passions for arts
and history
, but not everyone can afford museum tickets. For example
, a recent study indicates that admission prices at museums
worldwide have increased significantly over the past decade. Eventually, the number of museum visitors will decrease and the supposedly burgeoning interest in arts
and history
will fade away.
When society has less enthusiasm for visiting museums
, arts
and history
will be forgotten by the new generation due to
lack of exposure. Youngsters may find it monotonous and futile, leading to detrimental consequences in the future. For instance
, one day, people
may not acquire knowledge regarding Van Gogh, Picasso, or the famous Mona Lisa painting. Consequently
, all valuable historical art pieces will vanish in time, and modern arts
may fail to replace them.
In conclusion, charging Fix the agreement mistake
art
people
to visit museums
has more drawbacks than benefits, including high fees that are not affordable to everyone, and negative effects to
Change preposition
on
young
generations. Correct word choice
younger
Thus
, we need to ensure that we conserve historical pieces forever.Submitted by maisarahamirah16 on
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task achievement
While your essay effectively raises valid points against charging for museum entry, providing a balanced perspective by briefly mentioning advantages of charging for admission before refuting them could make your argument even stronger.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, and transitions between ideas flow smoothly. Using a variety of linking phrases can enhance the logical structure.
task achievement
Including more varied and detailed examples could better illustrate your points. Also, try incorporating more specific details to substantiate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences can be rephrased for clarity and precision. Make sure each sentence contributes clearly to your overall argument to avoid redundancy.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed the essay prompt by providing reasons why you believe the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, like the study on museum admission prices, strengthens your argument and makes your essay more convincing.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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