Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages.

#museums #charge #admission #people

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Nowadays, there are significant numbers of

museums

that charge

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

visitors entry fees,

while

others require no payment. Whether or not

this

is beneficial to society is a moot point.

However

this

essay disagrees that making

people

pay

for visiting

Change preposition

to visit

show examples

museums

is more advantageous than free admission because the charges might be too pricey for some

museums

, and the world will eventually lose their interest in art and

history

. One primary disadvantage of

this

issue is the exorbitant entry charges into

museums

, especially those housing renowned

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

historical pieces. Many

people

have deep passions for

arts

and

history

, but not everyone can afford museum tickets.

For example

, a recent study indicates that admission prices at

museums

worldwide have increased significantly over the past decade. Eventually, the number of museum visitors will decrease and the supposedly burgeoning interest in

arts

and

history

will fade away. When society has less enthusiasm for visiting

museums

arts

and

history

will be forgotten by the new generation

due to

lack of exposure. Youngsters may find it monotonous and futile, leading to detrimental consequences in the future.

For instance

, one day,

people

may not acquire knowledge regarding Van Gogh, Picasso, or the famous Mona Lisa painting.

Consequently

, all valuable historical art pieces will vanish in time, and modern

arts

Fix the agreement mistake

art

show examples

may fail to replace them. In conclusion, charging

people

to visit

museums

has more drawbacks than benefits, including high fees that are not affordable to everyone, and negative effects

Change preposition

show examples

young

Correct word choice

younger

show examples

generations.

Thus

, we need to ensure that we conserve historical pieces forever.

Submitted by maisarahamirah16 on Sun Jul 14 2024

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task achievement

While your essay effectively raises valid points against charging for museum entry, providing a balanced perspective by briefly mentioning advantages of charging for admission before refuting them could make your argument even stronger.

coherence cohesion

Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, and transitions between ideas flow smoothly. Using a variety of linking phrases can enhance the logical structure.

task achievement

Including more varied and detailed examples could better illustrate your points. Also, try incorporating more specific details to substantiate your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences can be rephrased for clarity and precision. Make sure each sentence contributes clearly to your overall argument to avoid redundancy.

task achievement

You have effectively addressed the essay prompt by providing reasons why you believe the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument.

task achievement

The use of specific examples, like the study on museum admission prices, strengthens your argument and makes your essay more convincing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Admission fee
Revenue stream
Maintenance
Overcrowding
Commercialization
Cultural heritage
Diverse attendance
Community ownership
Access to culture
Visitor experience
Exhibit quality
Cultural mission
Reliance on funding
Government subsidies
Cultural accessibility

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Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages.

Your opinion

some people think we learn best through in-person interaction with a teacher in a classroom. others believe that online learning is more effective

Example Question– Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers' (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). Do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message

Some scientists thinks that there are intelligent life forms on ohter planets and messafes should be sent to contact them. Other scientists beleive that this is a bad idea and could be dangerous. Discuss both perspectives and give your opinion?

Environmental problems are too big for individual countries and individual persons to address. In other words, we have reached the stage where the only way to protect the environment is at an international level. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Example Question–Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers' (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children).Do you agree or disagree?