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Band 5

In some countries a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #people #salaries #government #control #limit #amount
There is no doubt, that the
existance
Correct your spelling
existence
 of individuals with
unusual
Change the word
unusually
show examples
 high salaries creates the discussion about money
limitation
Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
show examples
 that people can earn. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will explore both sides of the phenomenon and explain my opinion against
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
such
 restriction.
To begin
 with, the support
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 social equality as the positive development of the phenomenon will be considered.
For instance
, in
Finland
Add a comma
Finland,
show examples
 the government collects
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of taxes from people who earn more and most
citizense
Correct your spelling
citizens
 live in harmony.
This
 is because, country dwellers live similar
livestyle
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
lifestyles
, not feeling
envy
Replace the word
envious
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 each other.
In addition
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bigger taxes, as the most common tool
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 controlling extremely high salaries, give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
support
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct article usage
the buget
show examples
buget
Correct your spelling
budget
. To illustrate
this
, big wages in Canada are reduced by the
govenment
Correct your spelling
government
 which subtracts extra profit from paychecks and
invest
Correct subject-verb agreement
invests
show examples
this
 money in social objects.
As a result
, many facilities
such
 as health care or education could be almost free for citizens.
On the other hand
, upper borders for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
income may lead to
Correct article usage
an abcence
show examples
abcence
Correct your spelling
absence
 of motivation to increase personal productivity.
In other words
, the
comprehantion
Correct your spelling
comprehension
 that the higher wage demands to pay
bigger
Add an article
a bigger
show examples
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of tax might diminish the intention of rising performance. As for my friend
sayd
Correct your spelling
and
said
 me, her
paychek
Correct your spelling
paycheck
 was similar to her
boss
Change noun form
boss's
show examples
 because the authorities take bigger
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 from
higher ups
Add a hyphen
higher-ups
show examples
,
she
Correct word choice
and she
show examples
 did not want to be assigned
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
managing
Correct article usage
a managing
show examples
 position.
Moreover
, the control of
Correct article usage
an exeptional
show examples
exeptional
Correct your spelling
exceptional
 sum of money that employees could get from work creates the issue of
talents
Change the noun form
talent
show examples
 loss. It is hard to deny that smart individuals
want
Add the particle
want to
show examples
 achieve better motivation from
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 and can choose a country
for living
Change preposition
to live
show examples
with
Change preposition
in with
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 no frames of wages. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, I believe that the
negotive
Correct your spelling
negative
 development of the controlling
practice
Fix the agreement mistake
practices
show examples
such
 as
intellegent
Correct your spelling
intelligent
workers
Change noun form
workers'
worker's
show examples
 attrition and the lack of motivation to move in
career
Correct article usage
the career
show examples
 ladder
outweightes
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the positive influence on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social stability and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
budget revenue.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the main argument. This helps in maintaining a logical flow.
task achievement
Try to refine and clearly state your main points. This can help in making your arguments more persuasive and easier to follow.
task achievement
It would be beneficial to provide more relevant and specific examples that strongly support your arguments. This can enhance the overall effectiveness of your essay.
task achievement
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and punctuation. Small grammatical errors can sometimes hinder the clarity of your ideas.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, which is essential for a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph covers a distinct point, maintaining a structured approach to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • income disparity
  • social tension
  • economic growth
  • government regulation
  • equitable distribution
  • brain drain
  • innovation
  • incentive
  • progressive taxation
  • income inequality
  • salary caps
  • market-driven
  • monopolies
  • exploitation
  • financial regulation
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