IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Handwriting today is less formal than it was in the past. What are the causes of this change? Is it a positive or negative development?

#change #development
The two graphs illustrate the developments made from 1995 to till date in the village of Tynemouth
Overall
, over the period of nineteen years, it can be seen from both maps that the site underwent different modifications
such
 as demolition, renovations, new additions, and repurposes.The fish market was replaced with new apartments, houses expanded and the forest
park
 was chopped down and converted into a tennis court and golf club. It is conspicuous that in 1995 the west side housing colony expanded built a road and added some houses.
In addition
, more houses were added on north west side. Focusing on the demolition, on the south side there was a fishing port, which was removed so people could enjoy it at the beach site. Probing ahead, turning the attention toward additions, there was a fish market which demolished and replaced with new apartments. The Café and hotel remained at the same locations.
Whereas
 the forest
park
 was chopped down and
farmland
Correct article usage
the farmland
show examples
 and
Correct article usage
the forst
show examples
forst
Correct your spelling
first
park
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
were converted into tennis and golf.
In addition
, a car
park
 beside the hotel was built, where people can
park
 their vehicles, enjoy food, and play golf and tennis.
Submitted by rbtech65 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task. However, ensure to more consistently use linking words to improve the logical flow between your ideas. This will help the reader follow your arguments more easily.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports a single main point. This will enhance readability and coherence.
language usage
Avoid repetition of phrases such as 'demolished and replaced'. Instead, use synonyms to showcase a wider vocabulary.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear description of changes in Tynemouth from 1995 to today, which shows a good understanding of the task.
language usage
You used a variety of sentence structures, which showcases your language skills.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, contributing to a well-rounded argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • typography
  • cursive
  • digital literacy
  • texting vernacular
  • spontaneous
  • personal expression
  • accessibility
  • individualism
  • nostalgia
  • perceived importance
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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