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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts show the spending habits of citizens in UK in 1971 and 2001. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.

The pie charts show the spending habits of citizens in UK in 1971 and 2001. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data.
The pie charts above illustrate the expenditure habits of
people
Use synonyms
 in the UK between 1971 and 2001. There are various habits,
such
Linking Words
 as for
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
, cars, books, computers,
furnitures
Change the wording
furniture
types of furniture
pieces of furniture
items of furniture
show examples
, restaurants,
petrol
Correct word choice
and petrol
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the citizen
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 shifted how they
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 their
money
Use synonyms
 in two different years. In 2001, the UK's
people
Use synonyms
 most expend their budget on cars with nearly 45 per
cent
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, in 1971,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
more
Add a missing verb
were more
show examples
 considerate
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 spending
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 on
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, in 2001, the spending
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 and restaurants
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same per
cent
Use synonyms
, which is 14 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in 1971,
people
Use synonyms
tend
Wrong verb form
tended
show examples
 to use the
money
Use synonyms
 on cars with
total
Correct article usage
a total
show examples
22
Change preposition
of 22
show examples
 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, in 2001, 12 per
cent
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
money
Use synonyms
 was used for computers. On the one hand, in 2001, the percentage which
below
Add a missing verb
was below
show examples
 10 per
cent
Use synonyms
 was for
furnitures
Change the wording
furniture
types of furniture
pieces of furniture
items of furniture
show examples
, books, and petrol. Respectively, 8 per
cent
Use synonyms
, 1 per
cent
Use synonyms
, and 8 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 1971, the expenditures which same as or under 10 per
cent
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 petrol, restaurants,
furnitures
Change the wording
furniture
types of furniture
pieces of furniture
items of furniture
show examples
, computers, and books.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "besides".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, money, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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