Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce these increasing levels of crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #rate #crime #people #police #streets #levels

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Criminal activities are at an

all time

Add a hyphen

all-time

show examples

high under the current justice system. Some believe that the only way to curb

this

issue is to post more police

officers

to watch the public. Others, myself included, completely disagree with

this

sentiment as there are deeper issues that need to be addressed to help with

this

problem. A key point of a police

officers

Change noun form

officer's

show examples

job description is to help civilians and to ensure their safety. Training and rolling out more police personnel on the streets to help reduce criminal activity is only a

short term

Add a hyphen

short-term

show examples

solution as it does nothing to deal with the root causes that influence illegal activities.

For instance

, despite the presence of over double the number of usual

officers

on the streets of Miami during spring break, they managed to help with only ten

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

of wrongdoings. Poverty and lack of education are commonly seen in individuals who choose to do illegal activities to get by. It is crucial to tackle these issues and provide help to those that are in need of it.

Moreover

, once caught, proper rehabilitative measures must be put in place to make sure that once released, they do not fall back into the same patterns as before. In conclusion, instating more

officers

on the streets might help in catching the criminals,

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

it will not cause any significant and lasting change in the lives of those that break the law.

Submitted by Writing8 on Sun Jul 14 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

To achieve a higher score, aim to provide more balanced arguments that include multiple perspectives. In this essay, you focused primarily on the root causes of crime but didn't address why some people think more police might help. This would give a comprehensive view and strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Your essay would benefit from more specific and relevant examples. The example of Miami during spring break was useful, but adding a few more would make your points more convincing.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on transitioning more smoothly between different points and paragraphs. Each paragraph should naturally lead to the next to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Provide a stronger, clearer conclusion. Though your conclusion is present, it could be more impactful by summarizing the key points you made in your essay and explicitly stating your stance again.

coherence cohesion

The introduction effectively sets up the issue and your stance, making it clear what your essay will argue.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are generally well-organized, and each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of your argument.

task achievement

The essay reflects comprehensive reasoning behind why adding more police officers might not be the ultimate solution, showcasing a deep understanding of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

238 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the of older people. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
There is an idea that the population of young adults is almost more than elder people in some countries. This is a topic which has pros and cons but I think the positive points are more than the negative ones.
5
band
Nowadays many people have Access to computers on a wide basis and large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done minimize bad effects?
These days, computer is can be accessed so easy for many people and especially children can access to computer and they play games from computer. In this case some problems arise. This issue will be discussed in this essay along with some possible solutions that may be implemented to alleviate the problem.
6
band
Nowadays, young people communicate with friends and family mostly through social networking sites, rather than other ways of communication like talking on the phone or face to face. Do you think this is a positive or negative development
In The fast-moving world, There are a lot of communication devices to interact with one another. However, young adults prefer social media such as Facebook, WhatsApp, Twitter etc instead of traditional ways of conversation like telephone and face-to-face for developing their bonding. according to me, it is a negative development as it never gives us real feelings of friendship and this can cause some social evils.
5.5
band
In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give youy opinion.
It is controversial that the elderly are crucial for their profound knowledge and experience whereas in other cultures the younger generations are regarded as the future and potential variations in numerous fields. Personally, this writer supposes that the youth may play a vital role in cutural and financial development, old citizens should be respected fairly.
6.5
band
In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant experience from your own experience. Write at least 250 words.
There is no doubt that these days that increasing number of children are considered obese in different parts of the world. Although there are a variety of possible reasons for childhood obesity, steps can be taken to tackle this problem.

Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce these increasing levels of crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays many people have Access to computers on a wide basis and large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done minimize bad effects?

Nowadays, young people communicate with friends and family mostly through social networking sites, rather than other ways of communication like talking on the phone or face to face. Do you think this is a positive or negative development

In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give youy opinion.

In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant experience from your own experience. Write at least 250 words.