Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce these increasing levels of crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Criminal activities are at an
all time
high under the current justice system. Some believe that the only way to curb Add a hyphen
all-time
this
issue is to post more police officers
to watch the public. Others, myself included, completely disagree with this
sentiment as there are deeper issues that need to be addressed to help with this
problem.
A key point of a police officers
job description is to help civilians and to ensure their safety. Training and rolling out more police personnel on the streets to help reduce criminal activity is only a Change noun form
officer's
short term
solution as it does nothing to deal with the root causes that influence illegal activities. Add a hyphen
short-term
For instance
, despite the presence of over double the number of usual officers
on the streets of Miami during spring break, they managed to help with only ten percent
of wrongdoings.
Poverty and lack of education are commonly seen in individuals who choose to do illegal activities to get by. It is crucial to tackle these issues and provide help to those that are in need of it. Change the spelling
per cent
Moreover
, once caught, proper rehabilitative measures must be put in place to make sure that once released, they do not fall back into the same patterns as before.
In conclusion, instating more officers
on the streets might help in catching the criminals, however
it will not cause any significant and lasting change in the lives of those that break the law.Add a comma
however,
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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, aim to provide more balanced arguments that include multiple perspectives. In this essay, you focused primarily on the root causes of crime but didn't address why some people think more police might help. This would give a comprehensive view and strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Your essay would benefit from more specific and relevant examples. The example of Miami during spring break was useful, but adding a few more would make your points more convincing.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on transitioning more smoothly between different points and paragraphs. Each paragraph should naturally lead to the next to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Provide a stronger, clearer conclusion. Though your conclusion is present, it could be more impactful by summarizing the key points you made in your essay and explicitly stating your stance again.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets up the issue and your stance, making it clear what your essay will argue.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are generally well-organized, and each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of your argument.
task achievement
The essay reflects comprehensive reasoning behind why adding more police officers might not be the ultimate solution, showcasing a deep understanding of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.