Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Today, kids are using their gadgets more often than a couple of years ago. There are many reasons why
this
condition can occur, such
as modernization, policy, and so on. Modernization make
the price of Change the verb form
makes
smartphones
become
more valuable so people tend to buy those Verb problem
apply
for giving
to their Change preposition
to give
children
. For good reason, this
has let youngsters become smarter because of the presence of smartphones
. Children
can improve their skills individually without some help from teachers.
Spending time on a mobile device is good for some kids. Children
can do everything with their smartphones
, such
as browse on Google, watch on YouTube, text on WhatsApp, and so on. However
, parents’s restrictions and roles are becoming more important to monitor what their children
do on their smartphones
. In addition
, some schools have a policy to use students’s smartphones
to improve their curriculum. Students can do some improvisations to reach the best score at school. Moreover
, they are usually thinking more creatively in order to solve some problems.
Conversely
, there are any
hidden effects that will Correct quantifier usage
apply
affect
kids from using Verb problem
prevent
smartphones
freely. For instance
, human trafficking, pornography, criminal news, and the deep and dark web have the smallest effect on the internet and smartphones
. Besides
those impacts, diminishing contact with each other has an impact on their psychological point of view. Sometimes, children
become shy when they are meeting someone new.
In conclusion, I think that spending time on the smartphone for children
has a positive impact on their creative thinking. This
condition must be monitored by parents to restrict some applications or services that smartphones
give us.Submitted by irhamtaufiqurrahman on
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task achievement
Your essay offers relevant points on why children spend time on smartphones and discusses both positive and negative aspects. However, ensure you elaborate more and provide specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments, especially for negative effects like human trafficking or impacts on social behavior.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical structure and has a clear introduction and conclusion. However, make sure each paragraph flows smoothly from one to the next with appropriate transitional phrases. Enhance cohesion by clearly linking your main points.
introduction conclusion present
The essay begins with a clear introduction to the topic and provides both sides of the argument, showing balanced consideration.
supported main points
You successfully identify multiple factors contributing to the use of smartphones among children, such as modernization and policies in schools.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?