IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry. Summarie the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry. Summarie the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#process #bricks #industry #summarie #information #features #comparisons
The given diagram illustrates the manufacturing procedure of
bricks
.
Overall
, the linear and man-made process goes through 7 steps with 3 materials, which
starts
Correct subject-verb agreement
start
show examples
 with digging and ends with delivering. The process starts with
digging
Add an article
the digging
show examples
 of
clay
 by
digger
Correct article usage
a digger
show examples
, after which
clay
 goes through
Correct article usage
an apparat
show examples
apparat
Correct your spelling
apparatus
show examples
 called
roller
Correct article usage
a roller
show examples
 to separate
clay
 from unnecessary particles.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the third stage, filtered
clay
 mixes with sand and water. After mixing,
mixture
Correct article usage
the mixture
show examples
cuts
Wrong verb form
is cut
show examples
 by
wire
Correct article usage
a wire
show examples
 cutter or gets its figure in moulds.
Following
this
,
bricks
 need to be
dry
Replace the word
dried
show examples
 in
drying
Add an article
a drying
show examples
 oven for 24-48 hours.
Next
Correct article usage
The next
show examples
 step is transforming raw
bricks
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 kiln.
Firstly
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 phase, raw
bricks
 need to be under moderate temperature, which is 200-980
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
, and under high temperature, which
is ranges
Change the verb form
ranges
show examples
 from 870 to 1300
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
. Phase ends with cooling, which goes in
cooling
Add an article
the cooling
a cooling
show examples
 chamber from 24 to 48 hours. Right after that phase, ready
bricks
 packages and
procedure
Add an article
the procedure
show examples
 ends with delivering
bricks
.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words bricks, clay with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!